War Zone
by darksupernatural
Summary: You promised if I went dark you'd kill me. You have to keep that promise...now. Dean please." The war comes home. Literally. Are the brothers strong enough to survive? Even with other hunters standing the line with them, can they win? See warnings.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Here's the first chapter of a story that has ruled my life for the past few weeks. I seriously couldn't even sleep at times! I'm taking a lot of creative liberties with this one and it's bound to have more holes than Swiss cheese. Please bear with me and just enjoy. This one is AU and ignores most of the end of Season 2 and all of S3. There was no deal, no missing Colt, no stabbed Sam. Also ignores the point that Lilith apparently got out of the gate. It hops around in time during a six month period. Warnings for language, torture and violence. Psychic Sam lovers beware, this one makes him dark!**

**BETA WORK BY THE MOST AWESOME MERISHA! Thanks girl for keeping me from ripping my hair out with serious issues. Also mentioning that my two best friends around here, Blue peanut and Sammygirl63 have been so much in my corner on this and waiting so patiently. Thanks girls! I do hope you enjoy!**

**One more note and you can start the story. I now have a complex about the color of Sam's eyes but have it on good authority that Jared's eyes are blue-green. So Sammy's eyes are blue-green and to die for! Enjoy the story and please review!  
**

**War Zone**

**Chapter 1**

_Pain. Fire. Cold. So cold. _

Why do I hurt like this? My head is splitting to pieces, crumbling to dust. I'm almost sure if I touch a hand to it, it will blow away like ashes on the breeze. My lungs hurt, God, they burn. I can't breathe without fire searing through every cell, every nerve. I'm curling in on myself, trying to block the pain as it cleaves through me. It's like turning my back against a raging bear that's ripping through me. It just slows a little, taking that much longer for the claws of pain to do their lethal damage.

_Cold. I'm so cold. Feels like I'm drownin' in solid ice. _

Chill bumps skitter across my flesh, my arms feeling like a pebbled surface lurking under my shirt. The harsh feel of my clothing rasps over my sensitive flesh, taking the raised bumps off like coarse sand paper to soft wood. I groan. I think I groan anyway. It's more like a scream of pain in my head. One that builds in my seared lungs and wrenches through my body, tearing holes and echoing through damaged tissue before exploding from my mouth.

_Someone please help me. I think I'm dying._

I feel something, hear something. A gentle, warm touch against skin that's still too cold, even though it's engulfed in flame. I hear a soft rumble, a fluctuating resonance that brings some comfort, pulls my ripped apart body together and holds me close. It works the pain to the outer edges of my being, before wiping it away altogether. The voice,_ yeah I know it's a voice now_, pulls me up and out of the pain that I'm drowning in, the pain that's tearing at me with claws to rival any Wendigo. The feeling of being slowly shredded finally ebbs away.

"Hey. Come on man. It's about time you open those eyes of yours. I'm here."

I hear the need in that voice. It pulls at me. Not in the tearing, wrenching way that the pain and cold and fire does, but in a way that draws me in, encompasses me, makes everything bad that's ever happened fade to a distant memory. That voice, those words, they've done just that, ever since I can remember, made me safe. Dried tears, they helped me to remain silent as broken bones were set, stitch wounds that would fade from my memory if not completely from my body. Mended a heart shattered to slivers so sharp they ripped their way out of my chest with my sobs.

"Come on damnit. Fight. You gotta wake up now man. It's kinda important. I gotta get us outta here and I can't do it with ya like this man_." _I feel it now, that firm grasp of a hand again. Maybe my brother's? It's against my cheek, all calloused and caring at the same time. That touch brings me closer to the surface. Further away from the fire and ice fighting a war with my body at the front lines. I manage another groan, this time the screaming inside me has died to a whimper.

"Nnmmuh."

"Hey! Yeah, that's it. C'mon." The hand taps my cheek now. Still gentle, still calloused, still my brother. I feel him shift my legs slightly, pain raining another volley of blows down upon my body.

"Ahh."

"I've got ya, shh, you're alright. You're alright." My legs are shifted again, more gently this time and I feel the hands probing for injury, brushing dust away from my clothing and skin. Is it dust? Maybe it's ash from the fire searing through me, an outward sign that I'm burning to nothing?

"Mnn…hurts."

"Shh, I know. I know. But I still gotta get us outta here. We're outnumbered an' you're hurt."

"Escape an' evade?" I ask in a whispered voice, time winding back for me._ Orders given were always obeyed. I hear that voice now. _I shake my head, trying to wipe that tone from my head, forcing my eyes open to slits. Fear rockets through me._ Control. I can't give up control. _I draw a breath through clenched teeth and force my eyes to snap open, facing the brother who's always had my back.

"Time … to move." I say, forcing myself upright despite the pain that wants to claim my consciousness yet again. I look at my brother, seeing the life I didn't want us to have reflecting back at me. I see his combat gear, black fatigues and boots, the black hat that covers his head, the gun that is never far from his hand, despite both of them being tangled in my matching fatigues. I don't have the hat, instead opting for the black bandana holding my hair out of my face.I should have cut it a long time ago, but I WILL NOT give up all of my life for this war. No matter how bad it helps me stand, one hand now released and pulling his full automatic rifle up and at the ready, even as he steadies me while I try to breathe. I take in the smells now. Two simple words summing up the chaos of smells ricocheting through my sinuses. WAR ZONE. Home has smelled like this for three months now. I stand tall over the burned out shell of what was once a family sedan, seeing a melted heap that once resembled a child's booster seat in the back through the broken out windows.

"Ya need time." It isn't a question. No, my brother would never question me. It is a statement. He's worried. That too is something that the war will not take. My big brother will ALWAYS worry about me.

"No. I need to shield us from their 'radar', evade them. 's what I do." I raise a hand to the side of my head, feeling the stickiness of blood clinging valiantly to the black bandana tied tightly around my head. Dust stings my nose and the smell of sulfur makes my eyes burn. The air shimmers around us as I feel the change come over me. My sight darkens just slightly. I've been caught off guard by my diminished senses enough, instinctively scanning my surroundings now, even though it makes it harder to do what I'm trained do. I feel the blood leak from my nose. Not as bad as it used to be, just a drop really, as the stress sends spikes of pain through my skull. Still, I sense him move in closer and grip my arm with his free hand, ready to pull us off of the front line once again, when it's done. A wave of energy bursts from me with such intensity, that it has me staggering into him. White light blasts across the sky, pulsing like bright lightening through my coal black eyes, burning a path straight to and through my soul once more.

When they took me and turned me I bet they NEVER thought that their General would escape them. They never thought I'd fight for the good guys after what they put me through. But I've got news for them though… they'll never take me from my brother. Never again.

I hear shrieks as the enemy ranks are cut down. I manage to clear a three mile radius in what used to be Lawrence, Kansas. Burning demons out of their hosts, just like they taught me to do. Except they wanted me to burn the world to dust … so much for their grand scheme.

My actions get us out, even though in the end it's my brother carrying me to the base camp, laying me down on the cot, Julie patching up my wounds, but it's Dean who holds me together until I manage to open my eyes four days later, just in time for the next demon attack.

**Six Months Earlier…**

Sam crouched down behind the Impala with Dean, swallowing hard as he peered over the trunk of the big black car at the demons that were standing in the alleyway silently. "You don't think that they know we're here do ya?"

"Course they do, they're demons." Dean said, pulling the Colt from the back of his waistband. He shifted on his feet, remaining in a crouch, and pulled Sam lower behind the Impala. "Dude, I'm point." Dean said, lifting the Colt so that Sam could see the inscriptions that adorned the gun. "You just start spouting Latin as soon as I take out a couple of kneecaps."

"Dean, seriously, we don't have enough bullets on us to take out more than those two over there. So what if there are more?"

"What's with you and all the doubt, Mister Thomas? Jeez Sam, it's like you've forgotten how to take out a couple of mangy demons."

"I haven't forgotten anything Dean. I told you before I just have a bad feeling about this." Sam wiped his hands over the worn knees of his jeans.

"You have a vision?"

"No but…"

"Then there's nothin' to worry about."

Sam cast a glare in Dean's direction before he looked over the trunk lid of the Impala again. He pulled in breath through clenched teeth when both demons turned their way, black eyes shining in the moonlight.

"We know you're here, Sam. We can sense you. You and Dean might as well stand up and face us to die." The demon inhabiting the man said. The female snickered, her eyes shifting from black to blue and black again, the moon catching her blond hair with the wine colored highlights.

"Damnit!"

"I thought you said you knew they knew we were here?" Sam hissed.

Dean glared daggers at Sam before hissing in return. "I did, but I was hopin' for more time." He stood with the Colt leveled on the male demon. The man was big, muscular and only an inch or two shorter that Sam. His close cropped hair sported longer bangs, spiked with colored gel in a bloody red. Dean smirked and gestured with the old gun. "You two really nailed the punk rock look, but I gotta say that the black eyed skank routine does nothin' for your style."

"Ever the wise ass huh, Dean?" The female said as she stepped forward fearlessly.

"Hold it right there sister." Dean said as the gun swung her direction.

"Now, now Dean. Come on sweetheart, don't be like that." The female said, adopting a pout. "It's always been a dream of mine to meet the famous Winchester Brothers. Y'know, swap autographs? Where's Sammy, Dean?"

"'M right here bitch. And it's Sam." Sam said as he stood tall beside his brother, his own 9mm clutched in his hand.

"Well, well. The boy-who-would-be-king. It's a pleasure to meet you." The male demon said with a smirk and a stilted bow. Sam swallowed hard and looked at Dean who glanced his way for a split second, his aim never wavering. The male demon took a step forward. Dean slid the gun in his direction and fired in a smooth motion. The man grunted, his body lurching with the bullet's impact. He smirked, winking at Sam just before shocks like lightening arced through his body. The man dropped to the ground with a sigh, lying motionless after the last jolts passed through him. The female demon looked down at her fallen counterpart with disgust.

"I should thank you Dean. He never could take orders." The female demon stayed where she was, looking at the man's empty body sprawled on the dirty asphalt. She raised her eyes and her hand. Dean fired again, the bullet going wild as the gun was ripped from his hand by an unseen force. Sam fired his pistol at the demon, lodging a bullet between her breasts. She looked down at her chest before raising her eyes again.

"No." Sam said, looking at the demon's white eyes. She pushed out at the air with a hand and Dean was thrown backwards several feet. He hit the brick wall of the alleyway hard, his head slumping to his chest as he cried out hoarsely. Dean grunted and struggled to lift his gaze, held immobile by the demon's touchless grasp. Sam fired his gun again and again, the demon holding her position.

"Ya know Sam; you're not off to the best of starts in becoming my friend." She said as she held out a hand towards him, pushing him steadily, almost gently back into the wall to stand nearly shoulder to shoulder with Dean. She walked up to Sam, standing an easy foot shorter than him. The gun he had managed to hold on to was ripped from his hand with a popping sound.

"GAAHH!" Sam screamed out as he felt his finger break.

"You BITCH!" Dean said, struggling to turn his head against the wall, finally being able to see his brother's pain filled face and the demon sneering at him. "If I ever get my hands on you, you skank, so help me I'll…"

"You'll what Dean?" She turned to face him, sneering as she got right in his face. "You'll shoot me with that fancy little six-gun you think can kill anything?" She had her full attention on Dean now; Sam dropped his chin to his chest in an effort to breathe through the pain of his broken trigger finger. He forced himself to raise his head and focus on what was going on around him through the black spots that danced across his vision.

"Lilith." Sam said, swallowing down bile and facing the demon. She turned, walking back up to him, her small frame exerting the force that held him fast. The closer she got, the more pressure he felt. _I can't breathe._ Sam drew in as deep a breath as the pressure would allow. "What do you want with us?" He wheezed.

"Not 'us' sweet Sammy. You." She jerked her head in the direction of Dean where he looked on with horror filled eyes. "Macho man there? He's expendable." She reached a hand out to Dean and slowly made a fist, her small hand hovering just level with Dean's chest.

"GAAAAHHHHH!" Dean cried out. "AAUUHhhhh!" He screamed again, panting now through the pain that shot through his body. His chin dropped to his chest as it heaved before she closed her fist by another incremental movement and his back arched away from the wall, his head slamming into it as he screamed again.

"NO!" Sam cried out, watching helplessly, pinned to the wall and feeling like a rare specimen in a collector's scrap book. "LET HIM GO!" Sam's chest heaved as Dean screamed again, tears of agony coursing down his cheeks. Dean's cry faded out and his chin dropped to his chest again, this time not rising as Dean silently slumped in her grasp.

"I said LET. HIM. GO!" Sam screamed to rival his brother's cries as he felt himself fall free of the wall. Lilith stared at him for a second, a smile twisting her features, putting out the hand that had tortured Dean and grasping the Colt as it flew into her fingers.

"That's my boy!" She said as she stepped up to him and swung the fist holding the gun.

"Nnhh!" Sam grunted before he slid motionless to the dirty asphalt. Shadows swarmed behind Lilith as more demons emerged from the depths of the alley. They waited silently behind her for her to speak. Lilith crouched and ran her fingers over Sam's forehead and down his cheek, after catching his blood on her fingertips from the cut at his hairline.

"Take him back to the compound."

One of the demons, a man dressed in black from head to toe, stepped up to her right side. She glared at him and he stepped back, dropping his black gaze to his boot clad feet. "What do we do with the brother?"

"Leave him."

-X-

Dean felt the rising sun burning through his eyelids, seeing the red glow as pain engulfed him. "Nnuuhh." He groaned, feeling pressure on his chest. He turned his head and felt grit beneath his cheek, the rough surface abrading his stubbled cheek. He opened his eyes, seeing the blurry forms of what looked like leaves and gum wrappers just inches from his face. He focused for a moment on the silver foil and getting his pain to recede to manageable levels. Memory slammed into him and made his bruised body jump into action. He pushed himself upright, panting through the pain.

"Sammy?!" Dean turned to the wall that he now remembered being pinned against and crushed from the inside out. "SAM!" Dean screamed, not caring about anyone who may be on the street. Another silver glint caught Dean's eye and he walked the ten feet to where the object lay. Sam's chromed 9mm winked up at him as the new sun sparkled off of the bright surface. "Sam." Dean said as he stooped to retrieve the gun. He stood and the world spun. Dean lurched upright and stumbled forward, catching himself against the brick wall. "Oh god." He whispered as he held the side of the pistol up to his forehead. The smell of stale burnt gunpowder reached his nose. "I swear Sam. I'm going to make the bitch pay when I find her. I'm gonna find you Sammy." Dean pushed off the wall and stood straight, breathing as deeply as his sore ribs would allow.

"Hey? Are you okay?"

"Huh? What?" Dean asked as he startled at the sound of the woman's voice. She was standing in shadow at the end of the alley. Dean quickly shoved the empty pistol into his waistband, realizing now that the Colt was gone with his brother. Dean prayed that Sam had somehow gotten it and gotten away. A sick feeling letting him know, though, that that wasn't the case.

"I asked if you were okay." The woman repeated, coming into the light from the still shadowed end of the alleyway. The woman wore a deep blue jacket and pants and a lighter blue shirt. A badge in a leather holder hung from a brass chain around her neck. A .40 caliber pistol rested in a holster at her hip. Her shoulder length dark hair was pulled back into a French braid, wispy strands framing her face and ears. Her hand rested on the butt of the black pistol in its holster as she eased closer to Dean.

"I'm alright Officer." Dean said, forcing a smile to his lips. She had stepped up to him and he realized how small she really was, standing no more that five foot seven. She looked him over, taking in his worn, alley dirt encrusted jeans and the dirt smudged leather coat. A smudge of dirt drew her dark eyes to his face.

"Sure you are." She gestured to her own face on the opposite side and Dean reached up and wiped the alley dirt from his cheek. "I can take you down to the station and let you get cleaned up." She reached around him and gestured to something Dean hadn't seen after waking. His eyes followed her hand and came to rest on something that had him swallowing down bile. A small pool of blood rested on a tattered scrap of newspaper not six feet behind him. "Or you can tell me what the hell happened here."

"My brother and I were here last night." Dean said carefully, running a hand through his hair, dislodging grime from the spikes. "I was drunk and we got into it. I decked him and he decked me back. I guess he decided my worthless ass wasn't worth hauling home."

"So he left your car here and what? Walked home?" She asked, smirking as she gestured to the Impala sitting further down the alley. "Care to try again? Dean."

"Come again?" Dean asked, a bewildered look crossing his features as his heart jumped painfully at the sound of his name being dropped from her lips. He clasped an arm around his ribs, stifling the grimace that accompanied the movement.

"Dean Winchester, right?"

"How the hell…?"

"I've worked with your dad."

"You? You're no older than me."

"Actually I'm six months younger. I'm a detective, and a hunter. Name's Julie Martz. I met your dad on a hunt a little over three years ago. I was sorry to hear about him. Good man. Now, Dean. Do you wanna tell me what really happened to Sam?"

Something in him, a feeling he knows he can rely on, tells him he can trust her. "We ran across a couple demons. Turns out one of them has wanted Sammy on her terms for a while now. I think she took him."

"Let's go back to my place. I'll call in a couple favors and…"

"Look Lady, I can find my brother. I've got a score to settle once and for all with a certain white eyed bitch."

"You pig headed sonofabitch." Julie growled. "Too damn stupid to know when to ask for help. If your father would have been smart enough to open his mouth, you'd know a hell of a lot more about that bitch than you do."

"What the hell?"

"You don't know. Do you?"

"Know what?"

"Lilith. She killed my father. I have all of his research. He spent twelve years tailing her."

**So in all honesty, Is this one worth continuing? Should I finish it? Hit that beautiful little button and let me know!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks to the people who have reviewed and added me to alerts and faves. It makes me feel good to have a story this weird so readily accepted. Again here begins the necessary warnings. _Language and torture in this one, folks. This is war, I figure it gives the boys the right to drop the f-bomb once in a while. _Oh, and don't own 'em, just beat them up and send them home to Kripke. As Always, thanks to Merisha for the awesome beta. I still have hair thanks to her! Enjoy and don't forget to drop me a review if you liked!**

**Chapter 2**

Sam woke with a start, the chill of his surroundings raising goose bumps on his flesh. His eyes burned, vision blurred. Pain registered next, bringing a moan to his lips.

"There he is. Welcome back Sammy." The blond that Sam remembered from the alleyway stepped up to him, her heeled black leather boots stopping just inches from his face. Sam flinched before he could stop himself and she chuckled. She crouched down and stared into his face, her eyes searching, roaming over his features. She took in her art work, the smeared line of blood that trailed down his temple across his cheekbone. She leaned in and got in his face, smirking as her tongue darted out and flicked across the dried blood, dampening the skin as she licked it away. Sam flinched and jerked away from her, pushing himself up and painstakingly pulling himself away, before reaching the wall behind him, finally managing to prop himself against it for support. She straightened, just watching him in amusement, but remained crouched down, on his level, staring at him with blue eyes.

"It's Sam, bitch." He huffed.

"Poor baby. Guess I struck a nerve." She stood and sauntered over to him again, her heels clicking on the concrete floor.

"Where's Dean?"

"Not here."

"Where. Is. Dean?"

"Running with his tail tucked between his legs." She crouched down in front of him once more, gripping the front of his shirt with both hands. She pulled him to his feet as if he weighed nothing, holding him, feet dangling, against the cement block wall.

"He's not coming for you Sam. No one is coming for you." She let go of his shirt and Sam sunk back down onto his unstable feet. She stepped back and turned away from him, moving to the steel door. It opened of its own accord and she stopped before going through it. Looking back at Sam with white eyes she spoke again. "Welcome home."

The door closed behind her and Sam heard a lock click, the hollow noise echoing through the barren room. Sam swallowed hard and slid down the wall to sit with his knees pulled to his chest. The overhead light in the room dimmed slightly, leaving Sam's eyes to adjust to the semi darkness. Sam lifted a hand to his throbbing head and gently probed the bruising at his hairline. He grimaced and pulled his hand away, arching his neck to rest his head against the wall. Sam looked around at the room, seeing the steel door, the cement block walls and concrete floor. His prison.

"Damn it." Sam muttered, seeing no escape. "Dean." Sam closed his eyes on a sigh and let his head hang. _Dean, please man. You gotta be lookin' for me._

-X-

"You said your dad researched the bitch?" Dean said as he looked around the small house, seeing the wood paneling and the various old books and folders of information, scattered about the room, all around a comfortable looking couch.

"For twelve years. He knew more about her than any other hunter."

"So what did he know?"

Julie looked up at Dean, her eyes searching his face for a moment before she turned and lifted a folder from the table near the couch. "You might as well make yourself comfortable."

-X-

Sam's head snapped up at the click of the door opening. He stood quickly, wincing at the pain in his head. The door opened allowing a bright light to enter and cause Sam to shield his eyes from the glare. Two large shadows blocked the light as men entered the room. The light shifted and showed Sam their eyes. Two sets of black orbs peered at him from the faces of men easily his size. Sam backed up. "What do you want?"

One of the big men sneered. "If I got what I wanted you would stop breathing." The other chuckled before stepping forward, forcing Sam back into the cement block wall.

"Guh." Sam said as his back hit the concrete.

"If I got what I wanted I would be elbow deep in your blood." The big man sneered, driving his human host's fist into Sam's stomach.

"Ah-unnnhh…" Sam gasped as the blow knocked the wind out of him, dropping him to his knees at the man's feet.

"You're coming with us. Lilith wishes to begin her time with you as her guest." The big men moved closer to Sam and took an arm each, hauling him up onto unsteady feet in bruising grasps. Sam stiffened and began to thrash as he started to fight, knocking one of the men away with a fist to the jaw. The bigger of the two, one who easily outweighed Sam by fifty pounds, took Sam's other flailing arm and pinned it tightly behind his back, eliciting a gasp of pain as Sam felt his shoulder pull. The other man stepped in front of Sam and punched him in the face, splitting skin just above Sam's left eyebrow. Sam slumped in the man's arms, his eyes slipping closed. The two demon possessed men hefted Sam higher between them and dragged him from the room and down the hall to the one that held their Leader. Lilith stood at the window, looking out until she sensed the presence of her henchmen. Turning, her eyes flashed at the slumped figure of her conquest between them.

"I thought I made it clear he wasn't to be hurt?"

"He fought." One said with fear in his voice.

"He got what he deserved." The other said, a sneer crossing his features.

Lilith's eyes turned milky white as malice rolled off her in waves. The demon's smirk quickly left his face as his grasp on Sam faltered. The big man stumbled back, sinking to his knees as he began coughing. Black smoke began creeping up his throat, forcing its way out of his mouth, followed by a trail of blood and vomit that crept over his lips and down onto his shirt as the smoke that was pulled from him began writhing in an inky mass on the floor around his knees. Lilith held up her hand and white light shot from her palm, directed at the demonic smoke. It crackled and sparked before flashing into a ball of fire. The man's body slumped to the floor, blood and vomit still leaking from his mouth.

Lilith's white eyes flashed again and black smoke rose from the floorboards of the old house, filling the now empty body through the nose and mouth. Black eyes darkened what had been glazed over blue ones, dead ones just seconds before, and the body blinked. The man sat up and wiped the mess from his mouth, looking at his mistress.

"Thank you for bringing me out of hell."

"Don't make me regret it." She turned towards the large four poster bed in the room. "Put him on the bed. When I say he is not to be injured, then that is how it is to be. If I find that you act in the same manner as your… predecessor… then I will send you so deep into the pit that you will NEVER claw your way back."

The new demon in the man's body stood from the floor and took half of Sam's weight, helping the other man move him to the bed where they eased him down with the utmost care.

"Leave us. We are not to be disturbed."

"Yes." They said in unison, turning to leave and pulling the door shut behind them. Lilith walked over and perched on the bed, running her fingers over the now dry blood on Sam's face.

"Sammy. Soon you'll be at my right hand. We'll raise enough hell for the entire world to see." She leaned across him and touched her lips to his, opening them just slightly with her tongue. She opened her eyes, allowing them to flash white from the blue once more. A small puff of black smoke left her mouth and trailed through his open lips.

"You'll join me soon, my love." Lilith stretched out on the bed next to Sam and tucked herself tightly to his side, forming herself to him as she laid her head on his chest. Her fingers worked the buttons of Sam's shirt and soon found a gap that she could slide her small hand through, running fingers over the muscled flesh beneath.

**Three months into the war…**

"Sammy!" I tap his cheek again,seems like I've been doin' that a hell of a lot lately_. _I'd call him a girl for passin' out on me all the time but I've seen what he can do. This time he took out– freakin' vaporized- twenty damn demons within a three mile radius and gave me time to haul our asses outta 't fault him for needin' time out of the game. Who the hell am I kiddin'? Game- huh- more like the fight of our lives. WAR.

"Come on kid. Gonna getcha back to Jules. Let her take a look, huh?" I bend down to where I've lowered him to the dirty asphalt. Tucking my hands under his knees, I lift them off the ground enough to get my arm under them._ He's lost weight again. Still muscle, still heavy, but he's not eating. _I hook my left arm under his legs and my right around his shoulders, shrugging my own to get his head to rest against my chest. "Guh, alright." I stand up with him in my arms and we hightail it the hell outta Dodge. "Come on Sammy. Let's get back to base."

I've learned a lot in the month that I've had Sammy back. I've learned that I'll do anything to keep him. I've actually known that my entire life, but I never thought I'd have to do some of the stuff I've done. I really will do anything. Six months, he was missing. His life was changing. Being taken from him, twisted and broken, and then thrown back in his face, leaving him to grasp the pieces, even as they threatened to seep through his fingers.

I hold him closer to me, refusing to let go as I take the only safe route back to base camp. The sewer system of Lawrence, Kansas. It's not that demons don't know we have it. Oh no, they know every foot of the underground tunnels. They don't dare attack us here though. Too easily defendable. Already there are bolt holes, wards, demon traps along every foot of the walls, floor, and ceiling. Every manhole has a devil's trap, every water valve hooked up and ready to spew holy water if it's turned on. These tunnels are our haven, our road to travel. Demons know we use them, but they're like our Kryptonite against Superman. To make it simple, demons come down here, they're fucked.

Huh, it's funny where the mind takes a person unable to cope sometimes. I stop briefly, completely out of breath._ Jeez Sammy. You're still freakin' heavy. _I ease him out of my arms in one of the more pleasant alcoves, sitting on the concrete shelf that lines the back wall. I've used these same alcoves as places to rest before, once stitching up my own wounds before making it back to Jules to be out with a raging infection for over a week.

"Mmnn."

"Sammy?" _That's it kiddo. Wake up. You'll be a helluva lot easier to move if you wake up. _

"De-n."

"Yeah Sam. I'm here."

"Where…?"

"Sewers. 'Bout half way back. Can ya walk?"

"Yeah." Sam pushes himself upright against me and promptly sags once again.

"Whoa, hey. I gotcha. Just need your feet to work Sam." I stand and pull Sam upright with me. "Let's get back. The others will be expecting us." I hold my brother tight against me, supporting him like I always will. Two miles of tunnels and we're back at 's left of my childhood home. It's the place where it all started. The place where we'll end it.

A mile and a half in and my brother groans and sags again. This time it's all I can do to keep him upright. It's not working. I lower him to the ground in the nearest alcove. He's unconscious again. It's what happens after he uses these damn powers, the thing unleashed in him during the worst part of his 't get me wrong, they've saved my ass more than I think I even know, but my god, I'd do anything if I could stop them from killing him, slowly but surely.

Each time more of him gets burned away, the fever's a little worse, the recovery time longer, he's a little weaker and a little more controlled after. I have no doubt that he knows what's happening to him. He doesn't want to die. I know he doesn't, but that's Sammy. He'll die if it means saving a life, saving me. He'll take a bullet, step in front of a bus-if there were any left- light himself on fire and sit in the middle of the road, anything if it meant saving a life. He'll burn himself to ash with these powers of his if it means winning this war._ No way am I going to let that happen. No way am I losin' him again._ I pick him up and take him home.

"JULIE!" I scream out as I walk into the basement of the house. "JULES!" I hear an alarm sound above me, and pounding footsteps as Julie and Bobby rumble down the stairs. She stops short, the state of the art med kit in her hands bouncing off her black fatigue clad thighs.

"Dean, oh god, what the hell?" She rips her stethoscope from around her throat as Bobby takes the heavy kit from her. She's on us now, listening to Sam's heartbeat, checking his eyes in the dim lighting that the generator affords us.

"He used his powers again. Vaporized twenty black-eyes about two miles from here. Shielded us until we hit the bolt hole and got back here."

"When did he lose consciousness?"

"He…" I swallow hard, carrying him is hitting me like a ton of bricks now that the adrenaline has stopped flowing, "… he took a hit, and was out for a while. He woke up and got us out and then the "aftershocks" started about a half mile out."

"You carried him in?"

"Yeah."

"Bobby, get Dean some water, please. Send Nate and Biggs down to help me get Sam to the infirmary."

"Sure Julie." Bobby waits for me to protest. I've learned too, over the months, not to disagree with Bobby. This war has been hard on him as well. Old man's lost a lot. Including his left arm. I nod at Bobby and let him lead me up the stairs. The canteen is right off the infirmary and I'm soon all but collapsing into a wooden chair. _Sammy needs me, I'll hear_. I snicker and Bobby shoots me a look, adjusting his ball cap on his head. That's something the war hasn't taken from him. We all have something. Bobby has his grease stained trucker's cap, Sammy still has all that hair. Me, I've still got my baby. She doesn't see the open road, not yet. But some day she will. When this is all over, when we aren't soldiers anymore. I'll hit the road in my girl, with my brother ridin' shotgun. The Grand Canyon hasn't met the Winchesters yet.

"Here Dean." Bobby hands me a glass of water and I just gulp it down. He stands over me and takes the glass out of my hands, a look crosses his face and I laugh, water dribbling down my chin.

"What?"

"Ya damned idjit! I ought ta turn ya over my knee!"

"It's just water Bobby." I know what he's talking about, but I'm just going to let the old man vent.

"Hell, that's not what I mean and you friggin know it! Damn it Dean, what in tarnashins were you thinking?!"

I stand up from the table and pace, my aching legs forgotten as I'm back on the front lines once more. "I wasn't, I guess. Damnit Bobby, I just want this over. We had the bitch cornered; I wanted it all to just… stop. STOP. That's all man. I wanna be back in leather and ripped jeans, cruisin' down the road. Damn, I want it so bad I can feel the wind comin' in her windows. I can hear the music." I sit down tiredly, burying my head in my hands. "I want Sammy back."

I feel his hand come down on my shoulder. He's silent for a moment, squeezing my shoulder. "Dean, this isn't gonna last forever." I snort, not lifting my head. _Forever. Feels like it's already been forever. Not just three months._ "Ya know, someday soon, you're gonna be flyin' down the open road in that car a yours. That music will be splittin' yer eardrums, rattlin' the mirrors. You'll get your shot kid."

The sound of raised voices and a blaring alarm brings my head out of my hands. Biggs, a man I've come to respect over the past few months, pokes his blond head in the door. "Dean we need ya. It's Sam." I'm on my feet and racing for the door, Bobby right behind me. I'm in the infirmary now, seeing Sammy…

"Oh god. Sammy!" He's on the cot, probably one of the most comfortable beds in the place, convulsing. Julie is fighting to keep him still without hurting him, keeping an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

"Dean, thank god. I can't sedate him he's not stable enough!" Sam thrashed on the bed, his back arching as he fights to pull in air. "His vitals are… ooof!" Sam's hand catches Julie in the ribs and sends her crashing to the floor.

"Sam!" I rush to his side and take him into my arms, wrapping one around his back, lifting him against me as I use the other to hold the mask in place. "It's okay Sammy. I'm here. God, I'm here kid. Settle down. Just relax. It's okay bud."

I pull his head against mine, my forehead touching his temple, sweat mingling with sweat as his fevered skin spreads warmth to mine. I keep muttering, my mouth close to his ear. _Please hear me Sammy. Settle down. It's alright. I'm right here. Not goin' anywhere._ He's tryin'. I can feel him tryin' as he gulps air in through the mask. "That's m' boy. I'm here Sammy." He collapses against me exhausted, tremors still working through him, muscles tensing and relaxing.

Julie walks back over while I keep talkin' to Sammy. I didn't notice. _Gettin' rusty there soldier._ She puts her stethoscope to Sam's chest, his fatigues have been relegated to the corner of the room; he's laying here in a black muscle shirt, bruises starting to appear from the hit he took earlier.

"He's starting to respond. His heart rate is down. Think he just needs rest. If you'll just sit with him for a bit, I'll get an IV started and hopefully get his fever down."

"I'm not goin' anywhere." I say as I glance at her, seeing the pinched look about her face. She's still scared of him, not of him, of what he can do. I think she's scared of what it does to him too._ You're not alone Jules._ Nate and Biggs move towards the door. "Hey Biggs?"

"Yeah Dean?"

"Thanks for gettin' me, man."

"No prob. Hope he gets better soon. We need ya both." Biggs says as he walks out of the infirmary.

"Okay Dean. IV's in and his vitals are evening out. You wanna sit with him a little longer?"

"You know the drill, Jules. I'm not leavin' until he wakes up."

"Dean…" she shakes her head, placing one hand on a cocked hip.

"What?"

"It could be days before he wakes up. You know that. You can't put yourself through this again and again and still lead these guys. Half the time you're the only thing keeping them-us- alive."

"He's my brother Julie." I say quietly, turning my back on the hunter, turned cop, turned medic. I hear her sigh over the crinkling foil wrapper of her candy as she leaves the room, closing the door with a soft _snick._

I reach out and card a hand through Sam's unruly hair, straightening out where it was shaped and pushed back by that bandana he wears. "I'm still here Sammy. I'll be here when ya open your eyes."

**Hope you all liked this chapter. The story is finally finished as far as writing goes so the updates should be fairly regular. Rememer, I'm just like you and love reviews! who knows, more reviews could lead to quicker updates if I know you're really looking forward to more. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks for the continued interest in this one. Hope you like this chapter. It's a little dark as it goes into how one Winchester gets broken down and put back together. Sort of. Those of you who liked Jess may either love or hate this chapter. I would've loved to see these scenes happening when Lilith raised The Witnesses. It would've been the perfect way for Kripke to give us a little broken!Sam for Dean to rebuild. Warnings for language and dark thoughts once more. ENJOY AND PLEASE REVIEW! Again, thanks Mish for the awesome beta.  
**

**Chapter 3**

**Broken Mind…**

"Nnnmm…" Sam's head worked into the pillows as he felt warmth at his side.

"Shhh. It's alright my love."

He turned his head and his eyes drifted open, he felt like he was floating. A head of blond hair, shining like a halo, came into focus above him. He felt lips on his and instantly recognized the kiss. He pulled back with a gasp. "Jess?"

"Hey Baby."

Sam scrambled away from her, backing to the corner of the bed. "What? NO!" Sam shook his head in disbelief. "No."

"Baby, what is it?" Jess reached out, concern darkening her blue eyes. "Sam, what's wrong?" Her fingers just brushed his arm and he bolted from the bed, pushing himself backwards until his back hit the wall.

"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"

"Sam, baby…"

"Shut up! You're not Jess."

"What? Sam, did you have another nightmare? Baby, I'm here."

"No. How dare you use her! How dare you? Jess is dead!"

"What?! Baby, I. Am. Right. Here. I'm not dead. Sam, please, I think you're still stuck in your nightmare. Just think for a minute." Jess said as she stood from the bed and walked slowly towards where Sam had his body pressed into the corner of the room.

"Look Sam. See, it's me. I'm real." She raised her hands, palms facing him. Moving slowly, her short blue nightgown brushing her thighs as she stepped closer. Sam shrank back.

"NO! She's dead! I watched her DIE! I'll kill you for impersonating her!" Sam launched himself from the wall, locking his large hands around her throat.

"Sam…" She gasped for breath, her small hands clutching at his wrists desperately, grasping, scratching, trying to pull his fingers from her throat as she fought to break his bruising grip. "Baby, please…" Jess's hands stopped digging at Sam's, instead reaching for his face, cupping it tenderly as she slid to her knees, pulling him down with her. "Baby, you're… hurting me. I know… you would never… hurt me. You said…you didn't know… what you would… do with…out me." Her eyes slid closed as she fought for another rasping breath, her shaking hands shifting on Sam's face to run a gentle thumb over his eyebrow.

"Ah, God!" Sam pulled his hands off of Jessica's throat, catching her when she slumped against him. "Jess! Oh god, Jess, baby?" Sam's whole body shook as he wrapped his arms around her, fisting the hair at the back of her head gently. He pulled her against him, feeling her warmth, feeling- _thank god-_ feeling her breath shuddering against his throat. Sam tucked her head under his chin, kissing her forehead as he held her close. "Oh god, Jess. I'm so sorry. Baby, I'm so, so sorry." Tears gathered in Sam's eyes and worked their way free of the lashes that they'd darkened and clumped. She carefully pushed away from him and reached her hands up to his face again, her fingertips feeling like butterfly wings against his cheeks as she wiped away his tears.

"I love you Sam." She whispered. "I know you'll never hurt me. You're just confused, scared right now. Let me help baby. Let me in."

Sam forcefully pushed himself up off the floor, pacing away from Jessica and turning his back. "I don't know what the hell is happening to me Jess. I feel like something is so…wrong." Sam sighed, leaning against the wall. "It's like something is being twisted, taken out of place inside me. It hurts, but I can't figure out what. Jess, what is goin' on with me?"

Sam didn't look at her, didn't face her as he felt her wrap her arms around his abs from behind. She flattened both her palms against him, holding him close to her. Sam felt her hair tickle his back as she turned her head and tucked her cheek against his spine between his shoulder blades.

"We'll figure it out Sam. Trust me." Sam felt her arms drop from around him, felt the loss of her touch as she stepped back. He smiled, turning to face her. The smile dropped from his face as he found the room empty.

"Jess?" Sam took a step towards the door, reaching for the knob. "Jess? Baby?" Sam gripped the knob and turned. Nothing happened. "JESS!" Sam pounded on the door with both hands, "JESS! This isn't really…" Sam huffed a nervous laugh, "Not really funny ya know! JESS!"

"No need to yell… baby." Sam turned with a gasp to find her in the room once more.

"Jess, what the hell?

"What the hell exactly…" Sam watched as her face twisted, her hair became matted and dirty. Her eyes…. blackened; the blue fading, being replaced by the darkness. Her fingernails sharpened, lengthened, became near claw like in appearance. The short blue nightgown turned to faded, dirt stained tatters that barely concealed her emaciated gray flesh.

"Jess…"

"Jess isn't home right now. Leave a message." The twisted version of Sam's love flew at him, launching herself straight at his chest. She barreled into him as she took him hard to the floor, pummeling him with rock hard fists, the claws digging at his chest, leaving bloody gouges in their wake. Sam screamed, shoving her away as he curled up, protecting his torn chest, his bruised face. He shoved his body as deep into the corner as his six foot four, two hundred twenty five pound frame would allow, a keening sound coming from deep within his throat as tears scored his cheeks. Vacant, yet wild eyes roamed the empty room in terror.

Sam's eyes snapped open, staring blankly at the canopy over the bed. Lilith looked down, seeing just a smudge of iris around the blown pupils, only a sliver of the former Sam Winchester stubbornly hanging on. She tapped him on the cheek, not even getting rewarded with a flinch.

"Don't worry Sam; it'll all be over soon."

**Present day…**

"Ya know, I didn't think I'd getcha back there for a bit Sammy. Scared the hell outta me. I tried so damn hard to reach you…" I hear him talking to me, the voice fading and wavering as it cracks with exhaustion. It's pushed away, out of my range of hearing as something causes chills to skitter over me. _What the hell?_ I hear something, I know what it is, just can't wrap my mind around it. I feel the pressure building behind my eyes. It's not pain. It's knowledge. My demon 'Spidey-sense'? Maybe. Whatever the hell… probably literally… is out there, I know it doesn't belong … and I don't like it.

It pulls at me, ripping me from my warm place of rest. I feel the power building, coursing through my blood, boiling, raging. I know what's out there and I have to stop it. I hear Dean's voice again and I know now. He's in danger. _Over my damn dead body._

My eyes snap open, blue/green just barely ringing the black of my pupils. I don't have to see it to feel… everything. The diminished sense of sight is the big giveaway as I see everything around me in a kind of night vision. I've taken to thinking of it as my demonic sonar.

"Holy hell Sammy!" I can see Dean, or rather the light that shines from Dean. He doesn't know it's there. If I told him, he'd just laugh in my face, saying he doesn't deserve to be that pure. I can see it though. I can tell it's my brother, the goodness that he holds within, that makes him fight to save the world. I've scared him; I can nearly see his heartbeat. My senses flare out, reaching for the presence that dared…_dared_ disturb me. I can hear everything, including the skulking form of the threat to my brother. The one that will be stopped. "Sammy?" Dean says worriedly, leaning forward to catch my eyes as I just lie there, feeling with my other senses. "Sammy, hey, ya okay?"

I feel my sight change yet again and I'm seeing the corridors of the house, the wards, sigils and spells that lock this place as tight as Fort Knox. It's a weird feeling, hovering as I zip through the halls, through the tunnels beneath. If Dean knew I could do it I know what he'd call it my 'Casper thing'. Like the translucent little ghost, breezing through halls and doors without opening them.

I see the intruder now. It's a sonofabitch demon, pulling the same stunt as me, translucent, piggybacking on Nate. It's not corporeal enough to be affected by the wards. _Shit._ _It's one of hers. She's getting close again. Only the most well trained as Lilith's lapdogs. I was damn near her prizewinning pooch._ Never again.

I feel myself snap back into my body. Can't quite get used to that. Dean jumps back when he sees my eyes go inky. I can tell they have, there's a warmth that accompanies it, and even after six months it still freaks him out just a bit.

"Sam?" I sit up, still not saying anything, my face still vacant as white lightening blazes across the black of my eyes. I look at my brother.

"There's a demon here. One of hers."

"The bastard is toast." Dean says, pulling a familiar Glock from his hip holster.

"No. It's not corporeal. It's piggybacking Nate. It's one of Lilith's best. I have to be the one to take it out." I reach out and grip by brother's bicep, feeling the extra muscle he's packed on since the war started. My large hand won't go even two thirds of the way around now. I feel the steel bands of muscle ripple as he slides the Glock back into its resting place.

I stand from the bed and shield myself from the demon's reaching presence, disappearing behind a veil of deception, invisible to the demon. I have to smirk as I look at Dean once more. He's said its weird, what he sees when I do this, like I'm surrounded with a fog. I know I'm dangerous looking, with the black eyes and the freaky powers, but Dean also knows I'm just Sammy. That's what keeps my brother close.

Lilith. I bet she's kicking herself now. She trained me personally, broke me to dust, added the liquid poison of 'demonic'– tainting, bolstering what was already there - and shaping me into one of the most deadly warriors she's ever possessed. Sucks to be her though, because she'll never own me again. I'll be the one to kill her. I'll be the one to put her so deep into the flame that she'll turn to ash before my very eyes. But first, I'm going to kick her lackey's ass back to her in pieces.

I move from the room and into the hall, my brother at my side and under my protection. I've left him visible to the demon, standing out like a beacon. That's his mission. I can feel the anticipation coming off the bastard in waves. Lilith sent him to kill my brother and take everything from me once again. She's hoping I'll come crawling back to her, looking for my broken home once more.

Think again bitch.

"Hey Nate?" Dean calls out, seeing the sandy haired soldier coming down the corridor we're in. Nate can't see me either. It's better that way. The demon would sense his reaction to me and all hell would break loose. I won't lose any more soldiers in this war.

"Yeah Dean?" Nate asks, stopping as Dean walks up to him.

"Did you leave the house?"

"Just went outside for a minute. Wanted a smoke."

"Christo." Dean says under his breath. The demon piggybacking Nate screams and shimmers into existence.

"Oh, what the hell?!" Nate cries out, backing away from the hissing, howling creature. It appears in front of Dean, finally taking its rightful form. It is vaguely humanoid, black smoke coalesced into a man's shape, not solid, shifting, and buzzing slightly as if it were black sand trapped in a clear outline. Dean dodges to the right as it swings at Nate, knocking him into the wall without ever touching him. Nate hits hard and sinks to the floor, legs splayed out in front as Dean hits his knees beside the man.

I shimmer into existence, my body appearing in front of the demon as I make my move. My hand is on the bastard's throat, my abilities holding the sucker tight as he wiggles and bucks, trying to throw me off. White light flashes in the room and he lets out a guttural scream, the buzzing sand of black demonic smoke expands and swirls around me before exploding into flame that has my brother shielding Nate with his arms. I breathe in the fire briefly, smelling the sulfur, feeling the searing pain in my lungs and relishing that part of it all. Part of me breaks loose and my eyes darken with uncontrollable malice. I growl, losing control for a second before Dean's raising his head and looking at me. I hold my breath, tamp down the hell rising inside me and focus my powers again.

The flame still billowing around me is held fast, compressed into a small ball of bright fire, resembling a miniature sun. I focus on the ball of light, pull the demon's presence back together enough to see the bastard's face, see his open mouth wailing in silent anguish.

"Give your mistress a message for me. If she wants to fight this war she needs to face me herself, not send her flunkies to try and get by me. That…" I allow my eyes to flash with the white lightening again "…just pisses me off." I take the ball of fire in my hands, the warmth not there. Something leads me to believe that demons burn cold. They're so used to the heat of hell that fire wouldn't hurt if it was hot. No, the bastards- serves 'em right- burn with the fire of frostbite. "Tell her if she shows her face here I _will_ take her out. I will take her so… far… down that she'll forget which way is up."

I take the ball of flames in my hands and bounce it once, a smirk crossing my features before I pull power in all around me. It crackles like static, raising the fine hairs on my arms. It forms itself to the ball of fire, obscuring the demon's pain tortured face. The static crackles and flickers white, then an intense blue that has me blinking before it fades to nothing.

"Oh God." I croak as I slide to my knees. My strength has deserted me. Dean is easing Nate's body against the wall, letting the man catch his breath and unscramble his brains and my big brother is by my side.

"Sammy?!" Dean's hand is on my shoulder, holding me up as I weave and bob. _God, I feel drunk. _ "Hey, hey, hey, Sammy, ya alright? Ya with me man?"

"I'm good, I think." A sigh leaves my lips; a deeper-than-I-realized breath is sucked in past the sigh, past my lips, as I sag against Dean's chest. My head kind of just falls against him and I feel him pull me close. I feel his chin on top of my head. I hear and feel the rumble of his voice as his throat works against my forehead.

"What the hell were you thinking takin' him on like that?" Dean asks me softly. It's not a reprimand; it's him caring about me. "Damnit Sammy, you just woke up after four freaking days and you bundle a demon- one of the best trained ones you said you've seen yet- up in a ball of flame and home run his ass back to Lilith? With a full on threat of all things! What the hell goes on in that freaky-ass head of yours?" I chuckle. I expect him to be furious, to tear me a new one. Instead, he's practically whispering questions to me and just pulling me closer.

"He wanted to kill you." I whisper. "She sent him to kill you. Couldn't…" I sigh, a shudder of weakness going through my body as I finally put away the remembered adrenaline. It's been hitting me harder and harder lately. The desire just to let go and reduce everything I know to dust and ash. I'm powerful enough. Hell, I … No, I break off the thought and suck in a deep breath. "Couldn't let him get at you." I see Nate start to stand, using the wall to push himself upright. "Nate, you okay man?"

"Yeah Sam. Thanks to you man." Nate answers, his voice wavering slightly.

"Sammy…"

"I'm tired Dean." I say, shutting down what I already know he's going to say before he has a chance to say it. My brother is worth everything to me. I don't give him the chance to say he's not worth it anymore. I did once and look what happened.

**A/N: Wonder why Sammy cut Dean off? What's Sam remembering that has him so broken? Let me know you want to read more!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks so much for the continued response to this. Here's more and again, it's a little dark. Not so much language this time as Lilith gets her way with our Sammy....for the moment. Little more torture here though. Enjoy...**

**Chapter 4**

**History…**

Lilith returned to her place on the four poster bed. She leaned in and nuzzled the warmth lying next to her. "Time to wake up Sammy." She said in a sing song voice. "Time to see what you're missing." Lilith's eyes turned white from the blue she'd become accustomed to wearing. Black smoke swirled up from between cracks in the floorboards. It flowed on the air in the room and darkened everything to a hazy gray fog. Lilith smiled as she saw Sam's eyes begin to move beneath their lids before opening, the colored rings approached their normal size as she watched on. Sam stiffened on the bed as the smoke blanketed him. His muscles went rigid and his eyes darted wildly about, not really seeing anything. A buzzing sound worked through the smoke and Lilith smiled. Sam was within her grasp as the illusion began.

"Sammy?" A wrenching feeling tore through Sam and he lifted his head with a slow, jerking motion as consciousness returned and his world spun. He moaned._ Dean._ Sam forced his eyes fully open, feeling returning and pain following closely. His arms and legs were bound to a stout, hard backed chair by loops of thick, coarse rope. Sam pulled against the bindings, his eyes darting around as he heard the voice again.

"S-Sammy?"

"Dean?" Sam called out into the semi darkened room, not being able to lay eyes on his brother. He strained to hear, picking up noises behind him. Sam tried to turn his head but the rope allowed no play in his shoulders. He was only able to catch a glimpse of Dean through his peripheral vision. "Dean. Man, you alright?"

"Ah, think my arm's broken."

"Oh god, how bad?"

"No blood."

Sam sighed. "That's good. Are you tied man?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Yeah. How long?"

"Couple hours at least. Think I passed out." Dean said, sounding, of all things, sheepish.

"It's understandable, Dean. Any idea what's got us?"

"Not sure." The lights dimmed, flickering once before going out completely. Sam swallowed hard.

"I think we're about to find out." The side of Sam's head exploded in pain. White spots blew up into supernovas as they crossed his vision before his world went black.

-X-

"Sammy? Sam, hey!"

"Mnn." Sam raised his head, revealing darkening bruises and a trail of blood that had flowed from his right eyebrow down his cheek, matting his viciously swollen right eye shut. "Dean?" Sam whispered.

"Yeah, bud. You alright?"

"Think so… Why'd they turn us around?"

"They clocked you after the lights went out and spun the chairs. I have no idea what the hell's goin' on."

The lights flickered and died again, plunging the Winchesters into complete darkness. "You're about to find out." A deep voice said from behind Sam, coming from the direction of the door. Footsteps and the rustling of clothing had both brothers stiffening in their chairs.

Sam sucked in a breath. "What do you want with us?"

"Let's just say this is a little…test."

"What…?" Sam groaned as he felt a fist slam into his jaw. His head snapped sideways and he choked slightly on the blood that slipped down his throat from his freshly bitten tongue. The darkness exploded with starlight as the fist connected again, this time with his throat as he gagged over having his breath choked off.

"Sammy!" The sounds of Dean struggling against his bonds reached Sam's ears through the haze of pain. Dean's own moan of pain snapped Sam's head up. "What the hell are you doing to him?" After not getting a response Dean snapped and fought his bonds. "ANSWER ME! Sam?"

A fist clenched painfully in Sam's hair and pulled his head back far enough to crack the bones in his neck. He hissed in pain as the figure in the dark leaned close to his ear. "Ya see Sammy, I wanna see just how much you'll take if it means that I don't lay a demonic finger on big brother over there. You pass the test and I'll let him go. Just a cast needed and no worries right?" The self identified demon let go of Sam's head and ruffled his hair.

"And…" Sam hung his head and panted; his throat raw from the abuse, "if I… don't?"

"You'll just have to wait and see Sammy-boy." The strong arm closed around Sam's throat as the demon stood behind him, pulling him back tight against the chair and closing off his airway once more. Sam choked, gasping in a breath that lit his throat on fire.

"Sammy!" Dean called out into the darkness, slightly weaker sounding, and pain laden.

"De'n…huuuhh…" Sam croaked as it died off into a breathless gasp. The choke hold loosened just as Sam began once more to see spots. Sam coughed roughly, dropping his head as he gasped in much needed air through his damaged throat.

"You know there's lots of different kinds of torture… cold, hot, blunt and sharp are the four main categories, but there are lots… and lots of acts for each. You know what my favorite is?" The demon stepped in front of Sam, barely visible in the dark room. Sam flinched as the sound of flesh smacking off wood echoed throughout the room.

"My favorite is blunt. Weapon of choice? Good old fashioned Louisville slugger." _Smack…smack… smack…_the bat was tapped off of the demon's hand three more times. "What do you think Sammy? Think it's a winner?"

"No. Don't… DON'T!" The bat came down hard across Sam's bound wrist. The crack of wood off tender flesh and the resounding snap of bone had Dean thrashing, panting. Tears were streaming down his face when Sam screamed.

"GAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Sam's head lolled, his chin touching his heaving chest as tears of agony coursed in twin trails of fire down his pale cheeks. He puffed slightly with every pant, trying to get his senses under control. Dean's voice echoed in the room, over the tap of the bat against the demon's hand again, over Sam's stifled moans of pain.

"YOU SONOFAFREAKINBITCH! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU I SWEAR TO GOD…"

"Oh Dean, Dean, Dean. What are you and god gonna do when Sammy here dies because he thinks you're worth his life?"

"No… No Sammy. Don't you dare! I'm not. I'm not worth that!"

"Yes… yes you are…Dean." Sam breathed out between spasms of pain, the words slipping between his clenched teeth.

"You hear that Dean?" The bat came down again; this time on Sam's other bound arm, this time just below his elbow. The bones snapped again.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHhrrrrrrggghhhhh!" Sam's scream died off into a gagging sound as Sam heaved and retched through the pain, unable to bring anything up as his abdominal muscles clenched to a solid, painful mass that robbed what was left of his breath. Dean thrashed once more, unable to get free.

"You sonofabitch! I will send you back to hell with that bat shoved so far up your ass you'll choke on it! You fucking bastard, I'll kill you! Forget the trip to hell; I'm dusting your goddamn ass!"

The demon chuckled and leaned close to Sam once more, lifting his pale face with a knuckle chucked under his chin. "What do you think Sammy? Dean still worth it?"

"Yes." Sam whispered.

"Tut, tut. Wrong answer Sammy." The bat whistled through the air once more, catching Sam across the back of the left shoulder, breaking through the chair back and driving splinters of wood deep into Sam's back. Sam slumped in the chair, keening low in his throat as he fought for breath. Dean still thrashed and his voice penetrated the pain colored fog that wrapped Sam tightly in its grasp.

"Change your mind yet Sammy?" The demon asked, walking around Sam in the darkness, the bat still continually tapping against his hand. The demon brought the bat down and tapped the back of the chair, the small movement making Sam flinch and stifle a scream as he was lit up with pain and was robbed of breath once more.

"Go…" Sam's head lolled as he forced it upright against the splintered back of the chair. He opened glazed eyes and looked at the demon's shadowed form "…to hell." The demon smirked and brought the bat down hard, again and again as he caught Sam across the ribs, the knees, and finally his left ankle before coming back up and lifting Sam's head with the tip of the bat tucked under his chin. Dean had finally fallen silent with his threats and screams, sobs being ripped from his chest as he turned his head away from the gruesome noises in the darkened room.

"Does that feel good Sammy?"

Sam's eyes were closed, his face deathly pale as tears streamed down his face, sobs wracking his body. Sam coughed, dragging in a ragged breath as blood bubbled from his lips.

"No…" A choked whisper answered the demon.

"What was that?"

"Stop… please……stop."

"And your final answer is…" the demon grinned, his teeth visible in the darkness, "Come on Sam, double or nothin'. Is big brother over there worth this to you?"

"No…"

"Smart boy!" The demon crowed, pulling the bat away from Sam's throat. The lights flickered and came back on. Dean choked out a cry at the sight of Sam as his head dropped to his chest again. Blood dribbled from Sam's lips, leaked from open fractures across Sam's knees and wrists. Sam's face was black and blue, his eyes swollen nearly shut. Sam's fingers were black from the swelling cutting off circulation underneath the ropes, his ankle caved in, leaving his foot resting at an odd angle on the floor.

"Sammy." Dean whispered, tears flowing again.

"'msor…De'…"

The demon pounced on Dean with the bat, bringing it down repeatedly as Sam was forced to watch. The bat connected with Dean's extremities before being slammed into his torso. Sam flinched and cried out long after Dean stilled and slumped against the chair, blood flowing from his mouth, nose and ears after the bat connected with his head.

"N-no. NNNNNOOOOOOoooooo!" Sam cried before his world went black.

-X-

Lilith watched on as Sam bucked on the bed, his body wracked with spasms and pain as he writhed. She grinned as she leaned closer to hear the pleas being whispered.

"_No… please…………stop. 'msorry…so sorry."_ Sam's head tossed on the bed. "Dean…"

Sam snapped awake on the bed, sitting upright with a choked cry. Lilith crowed in delight when he pinned her with a black eyed stare that showed her just what she wanted. Sam Winchester was no more. The black eyed man staring at her flicked out a hand, grasping her throat in a bruising grip. He stared at her, unblinking, his fingers flexing against her flesh as she held her breath. .

He slowly pulled her closer, not releasing the choke hold. His head dipped and his mouth caught hers, lips grinding painfully against teeth, the kiss burning like acid. She gave a muffled cry before stilling and wrapping her arms around his neck, relishing the pain. Sam's body stiffened at the wanton touch and he pulled her closer, touching her in return before he suddenly shoved her back, breaking her clasp. Lilith flew backwards, hitting the wall several feet away hard enough to break the drywall as she slumped to the floor, her legs folded beneath her.

She wiped blood from her lips and looked at the figure on the bed with real fear in her adopted blue eyes. "Lucifer?"

Sam remained completely silent, but the flames flickering through the black of his eyes gave her the answer to her question.

-X-

"The bitch _wants to do what?"_ Dean asked incredulously as he sat the last file down. Julie Martz would be one of those Dean classified as 'buckets of crazy' if he hadn't seen the research himself. Dean swallowed hard, standing from the couch and pacing like a caged tiger. His eyes glittered as his face hardened, the green depths holding a lethal light.

"I'm gonna find her and I'm gonna rip her apart before I send her back to hell."

"Dean," Julie stood from her couch, crossing her arms over her chest as she walked closer to him across the room, "you can't take on Lilith alone. She'll just kill you and no one will ever see Sam again. At least not the Sam you know."

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Dean advanced on her and gripped her upper arms, shaking her slightly.

"Why do you think she took Sam? She wants him as the vessel Lucifer will occupy." She pulled herself out of Dean's arms as reality hit home for him and his grip loosened. "The rumors…about Sam… they're true, aren't they?"

"What? What rumors?"

Julie's dark eyes glittered to match Dean's. "Someone should have kicked John Winchester's ass for keeping you two in the dark. You have no idea the network that's out there. It's true that hunters don't work well together, but that doesn't mean that we don't talk."

"What rumors Jules?"

"Sam, he's psychic. Visions, bad feelings, whatever he calls them. You try to keep them hidden, taking him away from prying eyes whenever they hit, but he's still been seen. Noticed. How do you think Gordon Walker found out? Why do you think Sam feels like he's a walking target? Dean, half of the hunters out there are going to see Sam with Lilith and kill him on sight. You need help."

"From a bunch of hunters that are gonna shoot first and ask later? Don't think so. I'll call Bobby and…."

"Dean, how many hunters do you think are in this area? In this city alone there are three. I've worked with the others. They're good men. I call and they're with us. You and Bobby will just die if you take her on alone. Sam will be lost."

Dean ran a hand over his hair and down the back of his neck, working at the knot of tension that rested there, impossibly tight just beneath the skin. He sighed and moved to the armchair in the corner of the room. Sitting heavily he spoke. "Call them."

**Present day…**

Dean eases Sam back down on the bed, his eyes hooded; face tight with lines of pain. "You sure you're okay Sammy?"

"Mmm…tired." Sam works his head into the pillow and his eyes slip closed. Dean runs his hand through Sam's hair and turns from the bed, seeing the haunted figure of Nate standing there. Dean walks up to the hunter turned soldier and squeezes his shoulder, before tipping his head in the direction of the hall. Nate nods and follows, after one glance and a silent thank you in Sam's direction.

Out of earshot from Sam, should he wake, Dean whirls in the hall and faces Nate, slamming him into the wall. "Man, what the hell were you thinkin'?"

Nate grabs Dean's hand where it's fisted in his fatigues. "I'm not a soldier Dean. This is war and I'm not cut out for war! I wanted air, needed to breathe back there and I get ambushed by something I can't even see! Damn Dean, we are _way _out of our league here man. I mean, without Sam we'd be corpses by now! And what the hell?! I mean we're risking our lives here, saving a world that doesn't know we're doin' it and we're doin' it with a man that has freakin' LUCIFER tamped down deep inside him!"

"Shut your damn mouth! Sam saved your ass back there!" Dean slams Nate back into the wall again.

"Exactly! An' every time Sam does something like that a little more of him burns out. The bars on the cage holdin' hell inside him get a little bit thinner. What the hell is gonna happen when he's savin' our asses and that thing inside him breaks loose again, because of us?!"

Dean drops his hand from Nate's chest. "It won't happen. I know Sam. He'll die first, before he lets that thing out again."

"And how are you gonna feel when he dies for us man?" Dean's eyes glitter for a split second, moisture building there before it's gone and they turn steely. Without another word Dean turns and walks off. Nate stares after Dean, his thoughts on the slightly younger man.

"Ya know Nate, Dean'll never let Sam die for 'im."

"Jesus, old man, you scared the crap outta me!" Nate said, turning to face Bobby Singer.

"I know those two. If anyone'll pull Sam through this, even if he's carryin' Sam out after all this is over, it'll be Dean."

"Why do those two put themselves through this? For that matter, Sam took your arm, why the hell are you still here?"

Bobby glances down at his left arm, the fabric of his flannel shirt folded and pinned just above where his elbow should have been. It's not even something he really thinks about anymore, not in the three months since he figured out it hasn't changed him or why he's here.

"I mean, it's not like they're your sons…"

"That's where yer wrong Nate. Those two are the closest I have to family. I've known those boys since there mama got took from 'em. I've seen 'em broken and patched. They are my boys, and I'm behind 'em till it kills me."

"You have so much faith in those two. It will kill you Bobby."

"If it does, it does. I don't have many regrets and I'm not gonna start havin' them. I'm not gonna desert those boys." Bobby looks sadly at Nate. "I hope you won't either, but you said you're not a soldier. Choice is yours boy. But know this; I won't have somebody standin' beside those boys who won't do anything for 'em." Bobby turns and walks down the dimly lit hall, disappearing into the infirmary. Nate looks after Bobby until the old man is no longer visible before drawing a deep breath and going to his quarters.

Bobby walks into the infirmary and sees Julie gently taking Sam's vitals. "How's he doin' girl?"

"He's a little stronger. Needs rest. Biggs told me what just went down with Nate and the demon piggyback ride." She glances at Sam before turning her attention fully to the older hunter. "Sam gets a little weaker with each attack. I'm beginning to wonder how much more he can take."

"There's not room for doubt here Jules. I just got done tellin' Nate that."

"I don't doubt Sam. If I did I wouldn't be here. I'm worried about Dean."

"Come again?"

"When he loses his brother… what then Bobby?"

Bobby steps forward and cards his right hand through Sam's long hair. "We lose 'em both. I've known that all their lives. Doesn't make it any easier. Don't get attached Jules." Bobby glanced at her with moist eyes. "I have an' I don't think there's gonna be too much left for me once this is all over." Bobby looks back at Sam once more before walking away, his shuffling footsteps highlighted by the single tear that Julie sees drop to the tile floor near his foot.

Bobby pulls the flask of whiskey from his pocket as he opens the door to his room, shutting it behind him as the lines of the devil's trap on the surface once more greet his tired eyes. He takes a deep pull from the silver flask as he sits on his cot, his eyes far away, mind elsewhere.

"_Dean, he's too far gone! There's nothin' left o' Sam inside that thing!" Bobby said as he looked at his struggling young friend. Dean had laid eyes on his little brother, watching as Sam's shell, inhabited by something awful, annihilated a family of five, including three small children. Bobby restrained Dean as he fought to get past him and get to Sam, to reach Sam. The black eyed figure of the youngest Winchester stood still and laughed a guttural evil sounding laugh as his white eyed, blond companion hung on his arm and smiled with glee, her hands red from the infant's blood as she dropped the baby's lifeless body that she'd been holding on to. Dean shuddered as the tiny head of bloody brown hair smacked off the tarmac. _

"_No Bobby. Sammy's in there somewhere! I have to get him back, then I can get through to him!" Dean continued to struggle._

"_Come on old man. Let Dean go if he wants to try to get to me. I can use the amusement. I grow bored." Sam barked out as he and Lilith stood several yards away, listening to the hunters' exchange._

_Bobby turned and shoved Dean forcefully behind him. "You think I'm gonna let him go so you can torment him before you kill 'im?" Bobby held out a flask of holy water, the cap dangling already from its chain. "I don't think so."_

_Sam stepped up to Bobby and smirked, brushing some imaginary lint off of his black silk shirt. Black eyes looked directly at the older hunter. "Go ahead, old man. If you think that…refreshing little rain shower can stop me, by all means, here I am." Bobby slung the holy water into Sam's face, recoiling as Sam smoked but never even flinched. Sam smirked again and reached out, grabbing Bobby's arm in a crushing grip. Bone splintered and Sam's eyes flashed with mirth as Bobby screamed. Sam's hand tightened further and blood welled from veins and arteries as they were torn. Skin split and muscles were rendered into tatters. Bobby collapsed to his knees before falling forward. _

_X_

_Dean sprung on Sam, shoving him away from the older hunter before Sam laughed and shoved Dean backwards without touching him._ _Dean pushed himself up off the ground, looking up at the figure of his brother and realizing nothing remained of the Sam he knew. At least nothing on the surface. Dean reached out a hand, placating._

"_Sammy, I know there's somethin' of you still inside. I can tell. Please man, that's Bobby there. Man, he's gonna die!"_

"_You know you're pathetic. Trying to reach out to someone that no longer exists, to follow you around like a sick, lost little puppy. You're at your all time low Dean. Sam wants nothing to do with you. I don't think you're worth the energy to kill. Slink back into your hole with the old man, if you can even manage to keep him alive. I'll kill you when you have the backbone to face me like the man you're supposed to be. Not some sniveling, groveling, begging worm."_

_Lilith laughed and stepped forward, wrapping her arms around Sam's neck as she looked over his shoulder at the huddled figure of Dean. Her eyes flashed white once more, and lightening split the black sky, flashing so brightly that Dean had to shield his eyes. He looked up when the light faded to see empty air where his only shot at his brother had once stood._

"_Bobby? Bobby!" Dean leaned over his unconscious old friend. Blood had pooled beneath what remained of Bobby's shattered arm. Dean ripped his belt from his waist and fastened it tightly just above Bobby's elbow, tying a knot in the leather to hold it fast. Dean pulled his radio from his pocket and called into the base._

"_Julie here."_

"_Jules, thank god. Get the infirmary ready."_

"_What happened?"_

"_Bobby. He's hurt bad. Sammy…no, not Sam, not anymore… the thing crushed Bobby's hand. He's bleeding out. I've got a tourniquet on but…"_

"_I'll send Biggs with the rig to pull you in."_

Dean sits upright on his cot, stifling a gasp, wiping sweat from his stinging eyes. He stumbles from the twisted army blanket and walks from the room, the boots he's learned never to take off, clomping on the scarred wooden floor. "Sammy." Memories of that night beat through Dean's brain and he realizes now that it was the night he realized he would fight until he got his brother back, even if only to die, he knew it as soon as he saw those eyes turn from black back to 'his' Sam, for just an instant. Julie had amputated Bobby's arm in a crude operation and managed to save the old man's life while Dean slipped out of the house to face his brother like a man. Dean had brought Sam back that night, fighting and cursing, his powers bound with ancient, powerful wards. Bloodied and exhausted, Dean broke Lucifer after that, imprisoning him deep inside Sam. It took nearly two months before Sam's blue/green eyes finally looked back at Dean.

**A/N: Please review. Let me know you're still interested. Will try to update before the weekend. Can try a little harder if I know you want this to go on ;) Thanks to you all.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: WOW! You great people had a heck of a response to the last chapter. So many of you have picked something that sticks with you from nearly every one and I have had so many wonderful reviews on this. Thank you all! Here's another update for you and I really hope you like more from Dean's POV(my resident Deangirl readers, this one's for you!) Also to Soncnica, we've been talking back and forth and yeah, I've learned something from you girl. So thanks. I'll catch you soon to chat some more.**

**Speaking of Soncnica. For those of you following our co-write MOMENTS IN TIME, there's only two more sets of two chapter updates each. We want to thank you for sticking with us and asking for so many of the scenes to be extended. If you haven't caught it yet and want to give a fantastic writer a shot it's posted on my profile and Soncnica wrote every other chapter. Drop by and leave us a review. She is one of the many truly phenomenal writers out there.**

**Same warnings as before. Thanks to Merisha for the awesome beta once again.  
**

**Chapter 5**

I'm walking down the familiar hall once more, slipping into the infirmary. I know Sam is alone, everyone else long since sleeping, what little they can before chores begin at five a.m. That would manage to get us through the day tomorrow and whatever the war brings to us. I move into the room and up to Sam's side, looking down at the chair that's been left near the bed for me. I pull it closer and put a knee up on it, not ready to sit just yet. I reach out and push Sammy's hair back from his closed eyes. Sam's head turns into my hand and his eyes open.

"Hey, sorry. Didn't mean ta wake ya."

"'S okay. You alright Dean?" Sam asks me with a soft, tired sounding voice. I force a smile to my lips that I know doesn't reach my eyes, before it falters and slides off my trembling mouth.

"Yeah. 'M okay."

"Why aren't you sleeping?"

"I'll sleep when I'm dead. What about you?"

"I needed to make sure you were okay. Bad feeling." I reach out to Sammy once more and feel his fingers close around my wrist. Mine do the same with his, feeling the life beating beneath warm skin. We sit in silence, I finally watch him sigh as his eyes close with one last blink, heavy lidded and comfortable. I lean forward, putting my elbow on the bed and adjusting the cover over his waist.

"Just need to be here for a while Sammy. Sleep isn't gonna come to me anywhere else." I lay my head down against his arm, my hair brushing his skin. I'm angled so that I can watch him without moving. After a few minutes my stinging, gritty eyes refuse to stay open and my last sight is of my little brother getting the peace he's been fighting so hard for.

**Memories…**

A knock sounded out on the red wood of Julie's front door. Dean pulled his .45 and moved to stand out of sight in the kitchen doorway as Julie went silently to the door, looking through the peephole while keeping her body clear of the line of fire. She smiled and opened the door to reveal a man about two inches shorter than Dean with close cropped sandy hair. He was slightly older, dressed in jeans and wore a flannel shirt under a camouflage coat.

"Dean?" Julie called after stepping back from the hug she gave the new comer. Dean stepped out of his hiding place, tucking his .45 back into the waistband of his jeans. "Dean, this is Nate Redman. Nate, this is…"

"Dean Winchester." Nate held out his hand. "Pleasure to meet ya man. I knew your old man. Sorry to hear about him. Helluva hunter and from what I've heard lately, you and Sam are filling some pretty big shoes pretty well."

"Thanks. I guess." Dean said, going back to the chair as Julie motioned for them all to sit. Nate took the couch beside her and slung an arm across the back of it behind her. She leaned slightly forward and Dean caught the look that Nate threw her.

"I got in touch with Biggs. He'll be back in town tonight. He's huntin a skin walker. So when do I get to meet Sam? Kid's got a helluva brain from what I've heard."

"You might get the chance Nate, if you help us get him back." Julie said, earning a scowl from Dean.

"Whoa, wait. You're not helpin'." Dean said, standing from his chair.

"The hell I'm not!" Julie said, standing herself and placing a hand on a cocked hip. "I know more about that bitch than any hunter alive. I just dare you to stop me, Winchester!"

"Hey, what the hell, guys? Get 'im back? Bitch? Get Sam back from what?!" Nate stood and tried to push his way between the two. Level glares pushed him back.

"Lilith." Dean and Julie said in unison, glaring at each other as they answered Nate's question.

"Ah, hell." Nate said as he flopped back onto the couch. "Two and two. God, I'm sorry Dean."

"What?" Dean said, finally returning his attention to Nate after pinning Julie with a glare that screamed _we'll talk later._

"I did an exorcism a couple days ago. Damn thing was trippin'. Blabbering about some kind of big thing goin' down. It mentioned a name, but I didn't put it together with what the damn thing said next, what with all the sarcasm and screaming. It said Winchester, and then it muttered something about being ready to bow to Lucifer."

Another knock sounded on Julie's door and she stood. Dean stood and stopped her with a hand raised. "It's Bobby. When I called him he was only two hours out." Dean walked to the door and opened it. The older hunter stood before him, searching his eyes for what he already suspected from the sound of Dean's voice on the phone.

"Sam?"

"Lilith has him Bobby."

"Aw, damn, no." Dean just looked at Bobby, remaining silent as tears gathered in his eyes that he hastily blinked away. Bobby clapped his hand to Dean's shoulder. "We'll get 'im back Dean." Bobby said, tucking his other hand against Dean's cheek.

**Nightmare time…**

"Dean, Dean, Dean. So you've finally decided to face me. Tell me, are you done cowering behind your protective charms like a little boy beneath his blankie?"

"Oh, I'm done alright. I'm done letting you murder people wearing my brother's face." Dean said as he faced down the demon in front of him, feet planted firmly apart, hands at his side, empty.

"And you don't even bring a weapon. You do want to die tonight, don't you?"

"Wrong again. I'm takin' you down you sonofabitch. I'm gonna knock you so far outta Sam the only thing you'll find to possess is mountain goats."

Sam threw back his head, rumbling laughter echoing into the night. "You sorry sonofabitch. I'm not possessing Sam. I AM SAM. Been here all along, Dean. Just buried beneath the goody two shoes geek boy with the puppy eyes. I clawed my way free and there's no way I'm goin' back." White light flashed through his black eyes and Dean found himself flying backwards as Sam shot his hand forward. Dean hit the wall of the house behind him. A long abandoned, old, clapboard sided house. The siding cracked as his back smacked off of it and he slid to the ground, siding falling around him. Dean looked up at the figure of his brother and raised a hand to wipe the blood from his mouth.

"Gonna take more than that, Sammy."

"Don't call me that!" The thing roared, lunging at Dean to pick him up by the throat. He lifted Dean from the ground and held him suspended in the air while Dean fought to breathe.

"Why? You afraid… he's still in there?"

"Oh, he's still in here alright. He's locked away, in a prison. It's dark, it's small, and he's huddled in the corner, sobbing, like the helpless loser he is."

"He'll break free of you."

"I don't think so. See there's not enough left of him to survive on his own. I'm his life. I am Sam now. Should just get used to it, big brother. We could rule this rock."

"Over. My. Damn. Dead. Body."

"That can be arranged." Sam threw Dean into a stacked stone retaining wall, the mortar free rocks and dirt it held back, caving in on him. Dean felt pain lance through his left leg as he struggled to breathe with the weight pressing down on him and the dirt falling into his face. He felt himself being lifted by the throat once more as spots began dancing at the edges of his vision. He gasped and allowed himself to go limp in Sam's choking grasp; although his feet still kicked slightly as Sam let his toes scrape the top of the collapsed stone wall. "You give up too easily. Where's that Winchester spirit huh?" Sam snorted derisively. "Not even any fun to play with." Sam sneered into Dean's lax face, shaking him. Dean's hand slipped into his jacket pocket unseen, as he let his eyelids flutter open, catching Sam's attention once more. He blinked the spots away and slid his hand free, giving a raspy growl as he plunged a syringe into Sam's neck, depressing the plunger the whole way. Sam bucked against him and Dean felt himself falling. Sam dropped to his knees, grasping the protruding syringe as Dean steadied himself and looked into the fearful black eyes opposite him.

"Holy water…" Dean rasped through a bruised throat, "Might not burn on the surface…but I'd be willing to bet you don't feel so hot…with it runnin' through your veins." Dean said as he struggled to breathe, pain registering once more in his leg. He watched as Sam's eyes flashed before the black faded away, showing a tiny ring of blue/green before they slipped closed. Sam listed to the side, landing on the grass, unmoving.

Dean slid to his knees, falling painfully off the heap of stone and dirt. His hand went to his left leg, hissing as he felt the deep gash that followed the line of his thigh, nearly to his knee. His leg felt numb as he stood, locking his knee to keep it from buckling once more. He took off his jacket and the flannel beneath and quickly ripped the shirt into strips, binding his leg with a wince. Shrugging back into his jacket Dean limped to Sam.

He stooped cautiously and touched Sam's neck, checking for and finding a pulse. Sam stirred slightly, his eyes opening to slits. Pained blue/green stared up at Dean and Sam's mouth moved. Dean eased to his knees, getting close enough to hear.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?" Dean said, stroking back Sam's disheveled hair.

"I…can't let you…get hurt again." Sam moved, his hand shot up and caught Dean square in the chest with more force that Sam alone could have mustered. Dean flew backwards to land on the grass. His head hit hard and his world went black. Sam rolled onto his stomach with a groan and pushed himself upright, putting a hand to his tight chest. He stumbled off into the darkness.

Dean's head shifted a little, before stilling. His eyes remained closed.

**OOPS, something I learned from Merisha...make wise use of the cliffhanger LOL! Please review. I'll post another chapter early next week. Only three more after this. Let me know you like it!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey! Me again, I gotta say that I'm really grateful for the people who have made this story so worthwhile and fun. I'm really glad so many of you are _still_ enjoying and _still_ sticking with me after all I've done in this one. There are two more chapters after this one and the angst and action starts to get ramped up a bit here. Same warnings and disclaimers as before. More time and POV jumps as we get another taste of what's happening with Sammy. Lilith gets a taste of what she unleashed on Sammy too. Enjoy one of the longest chapters in this story and I hope to hear from you. You wonderful people who hit that-I guess it's green now**-** button really make my day. **

**Oh, and thanks to 1Pagan3 for the idea of the conversation between Dean and Lilith. Girl, I know you have a lot happening with your son and all. You're both in my thoughts.**

**Chapter** **6**

Sam fell to his knees, unable to run any further. He never felt the pain as he scraped his hands on cracked asphalt; never felt the tightness in his chest, the fever thrumming through him. All he saw was a bat coming down on Dean again and again as he choked off a sob. Confusion reigned. Sam lurched to his feet once more, and staggered into the closest building, hoping to find shelter so he could rest. He sobbed, looking around the interior of the parking garage he found himself in. His gaze landed on something he hadn't seen in months.

"Oh… god." He whispered, tears brimming in his eyes once more, blurring the sleek black lines of the only home he's ever known. Sam walked up to the Impala on the passenger side. He looked in the window as he felt the comfort that the car symbolized envelop him. It was so foreign to him that it ripped another sob from deep within him. He pulled on the door handle and found it unlocked. It swung open with the familiar squeal and tears slid down Sam's cheeks. He crawled into the passenger seat, marveling that it still molded perfectly to his body after all this time. Sam rested his head against the door panel and allowed the darkness to claim him.

-X-

"Nnn." Dean groaned as he managed to open his eyes. "Sammy!" Dean sat up, gasping and planting his hands on the grass as the world tilted before his eyes. He felt warmth slide down the back of his neck. "Sam!" Dean pushed himself to his feet and looked around. "Sammy?" Dean swung around and found himself only a couple feet from the wrecked siding of the house he'd been thrown into. "SAM!" Dean yelled, taking two steps and slamming his fists into the siding repeatedly. Tears blurred his vision once more as his fists exploded in blood and pain which he barely felt above the breaking of his heart. "Goddamnit!" Dean cried, turning his teary gaze to the sky, seeing the first rays of sunrise lightening the horizon. He leaned back against the house.

"I know I got to you Sammy. I will find you. I will get you back. I swear I'll save you, even if it kills me." Dean shoved his bloodied hands into his jeans pockets and pushed away from the wall. "I'm not stoppin' till I find you." Dean started walking; his steps painful and slow as he began a grid pattern, covering the side streets and checking each abandoned house and business. Finally exhausted after three blocks, Dean stumbled into the last building in the residential area. It was the parking garage for the local clinic. It was where he stored his car since he and his team had made Lawrence and his old house their base of operation. He saw her clean curves and felt his heart lighten just a bit. Good memories of traveling with his Sammy assaulted him and brought fresh moisture to his eyes, even as a smile played with his lips. He blinked both away and looked at his car once more.

"No way!" Dean moved to the driver's side silently. _Oh baby, you are still home. Thanks girl._ Dean thought as he saw his life resting inside her warmth. Dean opened the door, holding up slightly to stop the groan of her old hinges. "Sammy?" Dean whispered as he climbed gently onto the seat. Sam didn't wake; the only movement was the tremors working through him. Dean reached out a tentative hand, stroking Sam's sweaty hair back. He felt heat radiating off of Sam like a furnace. "Aw, god."

"Mmm." Sam hunched in on himself as a look of pain crossed his face, slumping forward on the seat. Dean turned and caught Sam to him before he could smack off the dash. Dean held Sam tighter as he began to convulse, the heat of fever penetrating through Dean's tee shirt and bringing sweat to his skin. Sam moaned.

"Shh, shh. I'm gonna get you help. Easy, Sammy, 'm gonna get you help." Dean eased Sam against the door panel and shrugged out of his jacket, covering his shaking sibling. He reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out the keys he now thanked god that he always carried. The engine rumbled to life, the tone changing to a V8 purr as Dean pulled slowly out of the garage. He turned towards the house with a squeal of smoking tires.

Pulling into the driveway several minutes later, he hit the brakes, holding his brother steady with a hand to the chest. Bobby was sitting on the porch in an old chair, a shotgun across his lap. He stood and looked at the car, a look of astonishment crossing his face before he turned and disappeared inside. Dean pushed himself out of the car with a grimace and walked around as Julie and Biggs ran from the house. Dean eased the door open and stopped Sam as he tumbled sideways, catching him tight against his chest. Dean pulled Sam close with a hand to his neck. Sam leaned into him even unconscious, sighing.

"Shh." Dean turned his head into Sam's neck, scrunching his green eyes tight to hide the tears. Julie leaned into the car from the driver's side and took in the tremors running through Sam. She touched his face and felt the intensity of the heat coming off him.

"We need to get him inside Dean."

"Yeah, I know." Dean said quietly.

"Biggs." Julie motioned him over and the older man took Sam's legs and eased them out of the foot well. He reached for Sam's side and took some of the weight from Dean. Julie ran around the car and reached for Sam's other side, receiving a glare from Dean that stopped her. He and Biggs heaved Sam to a standing position between them, half carrying, half dragging him to the porch. Dean was unable to conceal a groan as they took the first two steps with Sam's added weight.

"Ya okay Dean?" Biggs asked.

"Yeah, just go slow." Julie opened the door wide and several agonizing moments later Sam was settled in a bed in the makeshift infirmary. Julie was working on getting him stable while Dean hovered nearby, concern for Sam written plainly on his pale face. Julie covered Sam with a blanket after cleaning abrasions on his hands and arms and starting him on IV fluids and a fever reducer. She turned her attention to an exhausted Dean.

"He's dehydrated, running a fever, but the medication is starting to work. He's resting. What the hell happened, Dean? How'd ya find him? Is it really Sam?"

"It's Sammy. Is he gonna be okay?"

"I think so."

"Good." Dean said, smiling slightly as he nodded. "Good." Dean's eyes rolled back in his head and he slumped, only Biggs' quick lunge kept Dean from hitting the tile floor.

"Aw, hell!" Biggs said. "Jules, his leg." Biggs said, holding up a palm covered with blood that had been resting against Dean's thigh as Biggs had eased him the rest of the way to the floor.

-X-

Green eyes opened sluggishly, blinking at the figure that had his back to him. "Bobby?" Dean croaked.

The older hunter turned and looked at Dean, pulling his ball cap off and resettling it on his head. Bobby sniffled. "Good to see those eyes of yours kid. Been a while."

"How long?" Dean asked as Bobby reached for the pitcher of water between the two beds. He poured the water slowly to avoid spilling before putting the pitcher down to pick up the cup. Dean watched somberly as Bobby handed him the cup. He drank the water, fighting to keep his hand steady as Bobby watched on. He took the empty cup and sat it back on the stand a moment later.

"'most three days. You scared the hell outta us, boy. Infection."

"Sammy?"

"Still out. Hasn't woken up either. Fever's down though. Jules says it should be any time. How'd ya get him back, Dean?"

Dean told Bobby about the holy water in the syringe and finding Sam in the car, falling silent when an odd look crossed Bobby's face as he glanced Sam's direction. "What's buggin' you Bobby?"

"Nuthin." Bobby said as he shook his head, plastering a false puzzled look onto his face.

"Bullshit."

"I didn't think I'd be around ta see him again."

"Are you upset? I mean…" Dean nodded his head once at Bobby's left arm, or lack thereof. "It's understandable…"

"You shut your mouth. I don't blame that boy. It might have been his body, but it wasn't _him._ Sammy woulda never done this."

"Thanks."

"Don't you do that! Don't thank me." Bobby said as he stood and walked quickly from the room.

"Bobby?" Dean watched after him. The older man didn't come back.

Dean looked over at his brother lying motionless on the other bed. He sat up on his own and slid his legs slowly over the side, wincing at the pull of stitches and torn, abused flesh and muscle. He felt the bandages on his thigh tighten as the muscle spasmed and flexed when he eased his weight onto the weak limb. _Please hold, please hold. Gotta get to Sammy._ Dean took a step, groaning at the pull once more. A voice from the doorway made him stop, his muscles tensing as he jumped slightly.

"What are you doin' Dean?"

"Jules, you scared the hell outta me!"

"You should be resting. You've been out for three days. That infection took a lot outta you."

"'m fine. Need Sammy."

"And you can't stay in a bed five feet from him and see him?"

"I don't just need to see him, alright!" Dean snapped, then instantly regretted it as her dark eyes flashed with anger. She strode forward and gripped his forearm, helping him into the chair that sat next to Sam's bed. Dean sat, trying to keep his leg straight to ease the pull of the stitches.

"Look, I get it. I do. But do you know for sure he's even the Sam you remember?" She asked quietly.

"When I fought with him, when I beat back the black eyed bastard in him, I got through to Sammy. He shoved me away and took off to keep from hurting me. I know he did."

"How? You beat back the darkness. What's to say that that part of him wasn't still calling the shots? Fight or flight. You weakened him, maybe self preservation kicked in…"

"NO!" Dean growled. "I know so 'cause he told me!"

"I hope so. I'll be back later." Julie said as she turned and left the room, leaving Dean sitting at Sam's bedside. Dean reached out a hand, making a fist to stop it from shaking before he carded it through Sam's hair, amazed at how long it had gotten since they'd been separated. He looked at his brother, for the first time the war wasn't between them, changing his view.

"Jeez kiddo. You're lookin' scruffy there. You get back on your feet; I'll cut your hair if you want me to." Dean's hand fisted gently at his crown and he stroked a thumb across Sam's forehead. "I'm here for ya, Sammy. No matter how long it takes 'till ya feel like you can come back. Just want you to know… it's alright for ya to come back. We'll work through everything. I promise. I've got your back."

Dean watched as lines appeared on Sam's forehead and his eyes moved beneath their lids. "Sammy?" Dean rubbed his thumb over the soft skin again, more urgently this time, reaching out the other hand to cup Sam's jaw. Stubble scratched at his palm. "Sam, come on kiddo. Wake up. Know ya can do it. Just open your eyes. Lemme know you're still in there. I swear I'll help ya, just need ya back." Sam's head moved deeper into Dean's palm and he let out a barely audible whimper. "Shh, I'm here Sammy. 'M right here. C'mon."

"De…" It was a whisper. Dean wouldn't have heard if he hadn't always been in tune with the brother he was now desperately trying to reach.

"That's it, that's it." Dean looked at Sam's face, his eyes roaming the pale features.

"No…no please. Don't…can't…" Sam whispered.

"Shh, shh." Dean said softly, putting his mouth next to Sam's ear, hoping his soothing tone worked now like it had when Sam was a baby. "I'm here. You're not alone. You're alright Sammy." Sam's head shifted on the pillow, his eyes scrunched tight. Sweat began beading on his forehead. Dean's thumb slid across the warm skin as he continued to try and soothe his baby brother. "Time to wake up Sammy. You'll see. It'll be alright when you wake up."

"NO!" Sam cried hoarsely as he sat upright on the bed, his breath coming in quick gasps. Dean had jumped back on the chair, stifling a groan of pain.

"Sam! Sam, it's okay." Dean said reaching for Sam. Wild black eyes turned in Dean's direction and he pulled his hand back.

"Sammy?" Dean stood from the chair, backing away, the pain in his leg forgotten.

"Dean, help me! I need help. I can't… I can't fight it. Dean…"

"Sammy?"

"Dean please! Please don't leave me. Don't hate me, oh god, never meant for you to get hurt. Couldn't take the torture anymore. I told him no and he hit you. Over and over he hit you…aw, god." Sam flopped back against the pillow, his back arching in apparent pain as his eyes scrunched and welled with tears.

"Sammy!" Dean reached out and gripped his brother's arms, trying to still his writhing form. "Shhh, it's okay. It's okay." Dean pulled Sam up into his arms and held him tight, holding Sam's head to his shoulder with a gentle but firm hand on his hair. "Easy kid. Just breathe through it. That's all. Just breathe."

Sam bucked in Dean's arms, choking on sobs. "I can't… can't. I fight so hard to come back, just for a bit. To fight…what's in-inside me, an' I beat it b-back. Lets me have control for a while, but then… it fights me an' I'm too tired…takes over again and I'm in a hole so deep and d-dark…" Sam coughed pushing away from Dean. "You gotta lock me up. Put me someplace warded and leave. God, Dean, I don't… wanna get sent back to the dark an' fight my way back to find out I killed you. This dark part of me _wants_ to kill you. Please, Dean. Please, just go before I hurt you."

"Nope. Not leavin'. I'm here for you Sammy. Okay? No matter what. We'll beat this back together. As long as it takes. I've got you." Dean felt Sam nod against his shoulder, his body still shaking. Sam's sobs changed then, becoming more rhythmic and turning to laughter.

"Hhahahahaha….You really think he can keep me down long enough to stand and fight?" Dean pulled out of Sam's arms, scrambling away from the brother who just seconds ago was sobbing and fighting for breath. "Ya see Dean, I take him over so quick, so subtle. I could've just snapped your neck and you wouldn't have had time to blink. He can't fight me. I push and he's gone. Just an unwelcome memory."

"You sonofabitch! He will fight you. I'll help him fight you!" Sam stood from the bed, working the kinks out of his back and neck and smirking as he faced Dean who'd backed into the corner.

"You think he can win out over his more powerful half? Each time he falls back into that pit it takes him longer to sit up, longer to climb out. It takes more strength to push back at me. Each time he's weaker. Eventually he'll fall and he Won't. Come. Back. I'll win."

"That's where you're wrong." Julie said from behind Sam as she plunged a syringe into his neck, depressing the plunger. "Sam has family. We will beat you." Sam's eyes sparked white, before they blackened and slid closed. Dean lunged forward and caught Sam under the arms just as his legs gave out, lowering him gently to the floor.

"What the hell Jules?!"

"Bobby told me what you did to take him down the first time. I mixed up a more potent version." She said as she crouched to take Sam's pulse. "He's sedated."

"You mixed holy water with a sedative?"

"Ketamine actually."

"Huh." Dean stroked back his brother's hair. "He, uh, wanted me to lock him up somewhere. Freakin' terrified he'd hurt someone. Think we have time to decorate one of the rooms?"

"I can keep him sedated for a few hours. I don't know how long the holy water keeps the black eyed bastard at bay."

"Has to work for a while. It took him three days and some change to make an appearance."

"True. I'll get Biggs and Nate to set up a cot and Bobby to do some art on the walls and ceiling. Can you…?"

"Not goin' anywhere."

"I know. Was gonna ask you to stay here." Julie pressed another syringe full of the mixture into Dean's hand. "You can't take him on alone. If he starts to wake up, just use it."

"Yeah." Julie ran a soft hand through Sam's hair, then through Dean's as she stood.

"We'll find a way to help him Dean."

"I know." He said as she walked out of the room. Dean pulled Sam into his lap, careful not to put weight on his stitches. Dean leaned over his brother and brushed his hand back through his hair, feeling a little bit of the heat coming off Sam. "Don't you get sick now, ya hear me?" Dean tucked Sam's head under his chin and closed his eyes. "We will beat this Sammy. I swear to you, we will beat this." Dean sat silently, rocking Sam just slightly in his arms.

"Dean?" A male voice called into the room from the doorway. Dean's eyes opened and he saw Nate standing in the door hesitantly. "The room is done."

"Alright."

"Ya want help with him?"

"My leg hurts like a bitch. Don't think I can carry him."

"I'll get Biggs. Be right back." He left. Biggs came through the door followed by Nate just a minute later. They took Sam gently from Dean and carried him from the infirmary, down the hall, to the room that they'd chosen to convert. Julie came into the room and helped Dean up, supporting him as he limped into the room behind Sam. Biggs and Nate settled Sam on a cot against the wall of the room. Dean eyed the sigils on the walls, ceiling and the devil's trap that filled the space just inside the doorway. Bobby was leaning against the same wall with a can of spray paint in his hand.

Dean hobbled forward and brushed a hand through Sam's hair, finding a strange comfort in the small gesture, taking his hands and arranging them on his chest comfortably. Julie looked over those in the room and smacked Nate softly on his chest with the back of her hand. She nodded to the doorway and she and Nate followed Biggs out silently. Bobby moved to the door, turning to look once more at the brothers as Dean stood still and looked down at Sam. He sniffled slightly, blinking harshly.

"Dean, I'll be outside."

"I'm comin' Bobby." Dean looked back at Sam. "I'll be right outside when ya wake up Sammy."

Dean came through the door and shut it behind him flipping the lock. He turned back and peered through the iron bars as he startled slightly, noticing the tiny devil's traps etched into the metal.

"Bobby, when did you do all this?"

"Started after I managed to convince Jules to let me outta that damn bed. Figured we'd need someplace safe to keep 'im till we got 'im back." Bobby shrugged. "Needed to feel useful too."

"Bobby…"

"Just concentrate on gettin' the kid back." Bobby said as he walked off.

"Yeah." Dean checked on Sam every hour, using the excuse of walking the hall to keep his leg muscle from stiffening as the stitches stopped paining him. He lingered outside the locked, warded door for several minutes each time. The time he spent away from the door that separated him from his baby brother seemed to shrink.

"Dean, you're not doing yourself any good standing on that leg right now. You need rest…" Julie started, only to be cut off by a glare from the older hunter.

"Don't Jules." Dean said softly, turning his gaze back to the prone figure resting on the small cot next to the wall. Dean's view of Sam was blocked in parts by the bars.

"Just keep in mind; you need rest if you're going to be able to help him. You make yourself sick; you won't be any good to us…or him." She said equally as softly as she turned and left.

Dean shifted his weight from his good leg to his injured one and back again, flexing the thigh muscle, relishing the pain as it grounded him. He looked in on Sam once more as Julie rounded the bend in the hall. He made a choked sound as he watched Sam's head shift on the pillow. _God, please let him wake up._ "Sammy?"

At the soft sound of Dean's voice, Sam's eyes snapped open, his body tensing as he gasped, having awakened abruptly from a nightmare. Wild eyes looked around the room, taking in the sigils and wards, seeing the devil's trap just inside the doorway and finally focusing on the barred window in the door that separated him from his brother, who stood on the other side with both hands gripping the iron.

"Dean?"

Dean saw the emotion playing over the face of his brother. He spoke again, relieved. "Sammy." _Black eyes or not I know my brother._ Sam remained on the cot, his hands not moving from his chest as he met Dean's green eyes. Sam sighed.

"Thank you." He said, shifting his head to look at the ceiling. He closed his eyes tight as tears worked free, following gravity's path across his temple and into his hair before disappearing from sight. "Thanks."

"Dude, don't thank me. You have no idea how much I freaking hate this. You have no idea how bad I wanna kick this damn door down and…"

"NO!" Sam cried, bolting from the cot and coming to stand just inches from the outer ring of the devil's trap. "No, Dean please? No matter what, promise me you won't open this door. I can't risk losing control. I _can't _hurt you. Not again. I'd die if I fought my way back and found out I'd… Please man, promise me?"

"Sammy."

"Dean."

"I promise."

"Thanks." Sam gave a watery smile in Dean's direction and returned his attention to the devil's trap on the floor. "Huh."

"What?"

"It's weird. I can feel that thing."

"Come again?"

"It's an odd feeling. It's like a wall of static or something. I can feel it pushing at me as I get near it. Kind of like trying to put the same side of two magnets together. I wonder why none of the demons we've used this thing on have not been able to feel it and avoid it?" An odd look crossed Sam's face and Dean caught it.

"Sammy?"

"Do you really think this can stop me?" Sam asked softly, his hair falling down to cover his face.

"Sam?"

"He's not home at the moment. Please leave a message." Sam looked up from the floor and met Dean's eyes with malice filled black ones. "I get outta here and I am going to enjoy decimating all of you."

"No. Sam, you have to fight man. Fight the bastard Sammy!"

"You are so dense, Dean! When are you going to realize that there's no winning when it comes to Sam trying to fight me? I shove him with one finger and he's down for days. It's like swatting a fly. I'm going to make sure he's the one who kills you. Then he's going to come back just long enough to see your blood on his hands and your dull eyes staring at him and he'll be so broken… he'll beg…" Sam shook his head, his eyes scrunching tight. "No."

"Sammy?" Dean whispered, hoping that it was Sam fighting the demon that caused him to trail off.

"He'll beg to die…" Sam's shoulders hunched as if he'd been kicked in the stomach. "I said no!" Sam groaned as he fell to his knees, his head drooping and his hands coming up to clutch at his temples, squeezing hard.

"Sammy!" Dean cried, hands clutching at the bars.

"Dean. Ah God! Hurts. It hurts. Aahhh!" Sam curled in on himself, hunching until his elbows rested on his thighs as he began rocking back and forth. "Get out of my head." Sam said, talking to himself. Sam appeared to be listening to something even though Dean couldn't hear a voice. "NO! I won't let you! Get. The. Hell. OUT!" Sam's back straightened and his head tipped back on the last word. He growled and his eyes snapped open, flashing white as energy pulsed in the room. Dean felt the hairs on his arm rise as if a balloon had ghosted over his arm. A wave of static and a buzzing sound blasted through the room. Dean stepped quickly back from the door as it began to shake in the framework as if someone were pounding furiously on the other side. The energy died off as quickly as it had gathered and the door stopped shaking. Dean stepped back up to the barred window and stared. The walls and floor of the room were burned black except for the lines of the wards. The devil's trap was unmarred by the soot, the outer ring having stopped whatever Sam's inner struggle had unleashed. Dean's eyes went to his brother. Sam was lying on his side on the floor facing away from Dean, a ring of black streaks circling him, as if he had been surrounded by flames.

"Sammy!" Dean cried, looking for a response from his brother. Sam's shoulders began to tremble, turning quickly to a harsh shaking as laughter filled the room, hysterical laughter.

"Dean?" Sam asked as he managed to stifle the laughter, the name coming out between harsh gasps for breath and choked off giggles.

"I'm here."

"Shouldn't be." Sam said as he pushed himself upright, his shoulders jerking with a barely controlled laugh/sob/gasp. He turned to face the door and saw his brother. "I can't…hahaha… can't hold him off. It's drivin' me crazy Dean. I'm dangerous."

"No Sammy."

"I don't wanna hurt you. I don't…" Sam giggled as he walked to the door, straight through the devil's trap, unaffected. "I can feel him pushing at me. I'm gonna lose Dean. Please, just leave. Get the hell outta here and just… burn the place down or something." Sam giggled again, reaching both hands up to his temples as tears flowed from his eyes.

"Sammy, what the hell?"

"You promised once Dean. You promised me that if I went…" Sam choked, gasping as he fought back more laughter, tears flowing harder. Sam's hands jerked through his hair and went to the bars, clutching them tightly. Dean saw strands of Sam's long dark hair pinched between his fingers "… Dark. You promised if I went dark you'd kill me. You have to keep that promise… hahahaha… now. Dean please."

"No." Dean growled, his hands closing over Sam's. "Not gonna leave you here. Sam, damnit I'm not gonna kill you either. We're gonna fight! I'm gonna save you, _'s what I do!_"

Sam's head fell forward, forehead resting on Dean's fingers where they wrapped over his own. He was quieter, soft noises still coming from his throat."Can't." He whispered.

"What?"

"You can't save him." Sam's head snapped up, black eyes filled with malice boring into Dean. Dean's hands jerked away from the bars, away from Sam's. "YOU CAN'T SAVE HIM DEAN!" Sam said, arching back from the doors and rushing them once more, slamming into the heavy, iron barred opening. His head slammed into the bars and blood began flowing down his forehead from a gash at his hairline. Dean jumped back from the bars as Sam roared with laughter, turning and stalking across the room. "You can't save him. I'll kill you first!" Sam stilled, going dead silent as he turned and faced the door once more. "She's here."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dean asked.

"My savior. The one who unleashed me on this world. My love. Lilith." Sam smiled at him, black eyes reflecting the light. "You're about to have your hands full. Have fun Dean-o."

"Dean!" Biggs called as he walked quickly down the hall. "Bobby just checked the perimeter. We've got demons outside."

"I know."

"You know?"

"He told me." Dean said, nodding his head in Sam's direction. "Let's go off the bitch. I'm getting my brother back. No. Matter. What."

Dean turned and walked slowly away from the door, not once looking back, although he cringed when he heard Sam cry out in pain.

-X-

Dean stepped out onto the front porch of the house, Biggs right behind him. Nate and Julie stood tall with Bobby between them. The older man's ancient exorcism, which he had memorized, was their line of defense. Several demons stood in the street, facing him. The blond he remembered from the alleyway a couple months ago, stood front and center. "Lilith."

"Hey there Dean. How's the leg?" Lilith said as she tapped her own thigh with an open hand. Dean's face hardened. "Oh, you think I don't know about the little stunt you pulled with Sammy?" She pouted for a moment before smiling. "I've never left him out of my sight. He's just too sexy to let slip away. Oh, that and the power he gives off is like a homing beacon. A big, colorful end-of-the-demonic-rainbow. Stops right on this little old house. How's poor Sammy feeling anyway? You like the touch with the black eyes?" Her own flashed white as she grinned at him. "Or do you like that he learned some new tricks?"

"I'm gonna send your skank ass back to hell so fast your head'll spin." Bobby stepped onto the porch, Latin dropping from his lips with ease. Lilith hissed as she flinched and threw out her hand, knocking the hunters into the wall of the house and holding them in her touchless grip. Bobby grunted as his head broke out the front window before he slumped, unconscious, her power holding him up. The others found themselves unable to speak. Dean picked up the Latin where Bobby left off and Lilith raised her other hand, slowly making a fist. Dean's voice choked off and he struggled to breathe.

-X-

I groan as I rock back and forth on my knees. "I said; get the fuck outta my head!" I scream aloud as I battle the demon within me for supremacy. It pushes back, surging and writhing within me as I tamp it down, locking it deep inside once more. I feel a burning sensation begin in my blood, feeling like acid in my veins. "I won't…let you…win!" I pant as I fight the pain for control. I feel the wrenching sensation of being put back in command of my body. I stand and turn toward the door as I tap into what I now know_ I_ control and not my demon blood gone haywire. Untold power.

I throw my hand out toward the door and hear the crackle of static that quickly builds to a hum as a charge seems to gather around my outstretched hand. The door begins shaking furiously, building momentum until it pops free, the bolt lock breaking through the door jamb. I walk through the devil's trap to the front door of the house, sending the wooden barrier flying off its hinges with a sweep of my hand. "Let 'im go! NOW!" I bark, my voice booming as I face down Lilith and her minions.

Lilith jumped slightly and her grip on Dean's throat lessened. Dean greedily sucked in precious air through his bruised throat as he willed the encroaching spots away. "Sammy." Dean croaked. I turn and face Dean, crouching beside him. I put a gentle hand to Dean's neck, just below his jaw.

"You okay?"

"'S it you?" Dean asked, searching the black eyes of his brother for the truth.

"Yeah, it's me Dean."

"Is it really him Dean? Can you believe that? Has Sammy told you about the rush he gets from tapping into those powers? Has he told you how delicious it feels to kill with the power of his mind? Has he told you that he's powerful enough to wipe humanity from the face of the earth with a thought? See, Sammy here has dreams. Don'cha Sammy? Dreams about streets paved with bone and blood flowing in rivers. Dreams of hell on earth where you reign as Lucifer! He's inside you Sam. He _is_ you!" Dean's eyes shot to his brother worry and fear evident in the green depths.

"SHUT UP!" I say, standing from my crouch. I flick out a wrist and unleash a ball of white fire that hits Lilith square in the chest, knocking her off her feet. I gather my thoughts and hold out a hand, steady as a rock. The four demons buck against my hold as black smoke billows from their mouths, seeping into the ground at their feet in a red haze. Lilith pushes herself up from the ground and turns, running off down the street. Dean stands, as the others push themselves up, now free of the demonic hold, clearing his damaged throat. Julie goes to Bobby's side, checking on the fallen hunter. Biggs and Nate moves to stand with Dean, looking at me with a mixture of worry and trepidation. I can feel their fear of me. I ignore it, I have to, instead focusing on Dean. "Don't follow me."

"Sam…"

"I said DON'T!" I ran down the porch steps and take off along the same path that Lilith used. I can sense her, her fear, her power, as I follow her to an abandoned factory near the edge of town.

Dean stepped down off the steps and started across the dead grass. "Dean, man, what are you doin'?" Nate asked, still standing with the others on the porch. Julie had helped Bobby to his feet and he was leaning heavily on her, his arm around her shoulders.

"I'm following him. Help Jules with Bobby. Fix the doors and wards if they need it. I'm bringin' Sammy back." Dean got into the Impala which had been left where he'd haphazardly parked it days ago, still unnerved at how abandoned Lawrence had become since the war came to town. He fired her powerful V8 and pulled out into the empty street, easily maneuvering the big car around vehicles that hadn't moved in months, being left dust covered and still, their engines cold. He followed the direction that Sam had taken and trusted his "Sammy Radar" to lead him to his little brother before it was too late.

-X-

I find myself looking through dust covered windows of an abandoned factory. The sign above the door lets me know I'm at the Lawrence Furniture factory. Lilith is here, I can sense the bitch. She hides from me … good. I step up to the door, watching as it flies open while I step through. I'm in a large room, seeing the machinery that's used to make furniture. It means nothing to me as Lilith steps out of the dark.

"How did you beat him back?" She asks me.

"The same way I'll beat you." I say, smirking at her. She pouts, her face pretty, as she saunters up to me.

"Do you really want to be like that? I thought we had something good together. Remember Sammy?" She stands on her toes and kisses me. I growl as my hand comes up and fists in her hair, pulling her close. Darkness surges within me again and I find myself fighting for control once more. I stiffen and shove her away, strands of red tipped blond hair clenched in my hand.

"NO!" I cry out, tamping the poison down within me. "I'm gonna take you out!"

"You think you can. You haven't dealt with me yet." She hisses, her eyes flashing white, as she flings out a hand, white light blasting from her fingertips. It hits me, I feel the burn, but it feels like nothing more than the glow of a heat lamp, as I pull the unbridled power to me. An audible hum begins in the room and I feel my hair become weightless, like static is gathering around me. I begin to circle her as she turns, keeping in step with me, like two predators fighting for dominance.

"Sammy. You think you can win. You can't. I feel the darkness within you. I feel it reaching out, permeating every cell. It will claim you. Just think, your dreams, the very things that made your brother scared of you, they'll all come true. We'll rule together."

"I don't think so." I push my hand out in front of me, and Lilith is hit with that harnessed power. She flies backwards, hitting the concrete floor hard. I watch as she stands again, wiping blood from her full lower lip. She smirks at me as I fight off the darkness once more.

"You know why you're having such a hard time fighting me, don't you Sam?"

"What are you talking about?" My eyes zero in on her lips. I feel heat in my blood.

"The part of you that is what you're meant to be, Sam. The real you. He's fighting because He wants me by his side. Lucifer is in your blood, Sam. He has been there since you were six months old. Dormant, until I stirred him, breathing life back into him. I want my love at my side. I want to rule this rock at your right hand, as your queen, as we were millennia ago."

I feel the surge within me. My vision narrows to her and her voice calls to the darkness within as I struggle to block her out. I feel rage, and I bring it to the surface. I can see the empty streets, the dust settling over everything, as it lives out its derelict life, forgotten in the middle of a war. I feel blood on my hands, seeing the child as _I _took his life.

"You won't win!" I say as I throw out a hand again, knocking her off her feet. The hand remains suspended in the air in front of me as I stalk forward. I hear a series of humming sounds as the power blasts from within me again and again. She's sliding backwards now, her head bashing through doors as power opens them up. I see her clothing being worn off by the speed she's gaining, as I stalk after her, pushing her down when she tries to fight, when she tries to get up. I see the trail of her host's blood on the floor as the concrete wears into her skin. I keep pushing. Finally we're in the center of the building. We're in the kiln where the wood is dried for the furniture. It's probably the only room in the building that will withstand the power I feel burning within me. The throbbing in my veins becomes painful as I watch her stand. I'm holding the power back, keeping it burning, and building. She wipes blood from the side of her face where the skin has been abraded.

"We can rule Sam." She breathes; obviously the demon feels some pain. Good.

"I don't think so." I repeat, letting the power break free. I roar, unable to stop the cry of raw power, of agony, as it burns through me. The room, the building shakes. Blocks begin to break and crumble, debris raining down on us. I get hit, but don't feel it, even as blood runs down my face. My skin begins to steam, heat radiating from me, enough to dry the blood and turn it to dust as I strain to contain the power coming off me in waves. I feel myself start to shake, trembling. I draw a breath, feeling fire sear my lungs, focusing on the change around me. "Oh god. Dean."

-X-

Dean pulled the Impala to a stop outside Lawrence Furniture factory. He watched, horrified as the building shuddered in its foundations. "Sammy!" Dean got out of the car and ran into the building, thoughts of finding Sam the only thing on his mind. He heard sounds down the corridor that ran to the center of the building, the walls and ceiling high enough for the noises to echo. He also heard a muted female voice and the booming voice he knew belonged to Sam. He ran down the corridor, the floor trembling beneath his feet now. "Sammy, I'm coming, little brother."

-X-

"If… you destroy me… Dean won't survive the blast. You…really want that…Sam?" Lilith says as she struggles to withstand the power.

"I won't hurt him." I say, as I direct energy behind me, sealing the only entrance to the kiln room, the six foot wide steel doors behind me. "It's just us now."

The room trembles, water lines in the ceiling breaking, pipes bursting as wires spark and light fixtures fall around us. A beam breaks free over her head and crashes down on top of her host, pinning her as I step forward, looming over her. I see the host's chest is crushed by the beam. I look down and see the grin on her face, seeing the black eyes flash white, as her bloody mouth opens. "I liked this look too." She pouts, opening her mouth wide on a scream. Black smoke pours out and hastily streams into a ventilation duct. Lilith lives to fight another day as the power rips through me. I can't stop the searing pain as I fall to my knees. My eyes flash white, pulsing as I lose control, the lightening arcing from my eyes to my skin, flash burning me. The walls buckle as the bomb I hold within goes off.

-X-

A wave of heat and dust blasted over Dean sending him to his back on the concrete floor as the six foot wide doors several yards in front of him blew wide open, the right one rocking on a busted hinge. Dean landed with a grunt, the wind knocked from him. He coughed as dust settled onto his face, pushing himself up to see the fire burning in the room that was ripped apart in the blast. "SAMMY!" Dean stood, feeling the scrapes on his back protest, as his shirt fell back down into place. He shielded his eyes against the dust and smoke pouring from the room and ran inside.

"Sam!" Dean coughed on smoke as he inhaled, yelling again. It burned his lungs. His heart was hammering in his chest, breaking every minute he couldn't find his brother. He stopped in his tracks, his eyes glued to a human form underneath a chunk of steel beam. "Lilith." Her blond hair was charred, blue eyes open and unseeing as they faded out, drying out from the heat and dust in the room. Her chest was crushed, mouth open and bloody. "Just her host. Damn, poor woman." Dean said softly as he scanned once more for his brother. He turned to see a section of wall lying at an odd angle against the floor. "No, no, no!" Dean ran to the wall and crouched down, seeing the limp hand sticking out from underneath.

"Fuck! Sam!" Dean screamed as he pushed his arms under the rubble, feeling his brother's hair, working his way down. Dean winced at the heat he felt, at the jagged concrete that cut at his arms through his shirt. He pulled in a breath and stifled a cough, when his hand came away wet with sticky warmth, he didn't have to see it to know it was blood. Sam's blood.

"Sam!" Dean felt for a pulse beneath the warmth, as he fought down bile, imagining the injuries and the hell his little brother had just gone through, "Thank god," and survived. "Gonna get you out Sammy. Just hang on." Dean pulled his hands out from under the concrete and gripped the edge of the material. His fingers smearing blood onto the concrete, mingling it with dust.

"Grrrraaahhh!" Dean roared as he felt the concrete shift in his hands, as he lifted. He stood, flexing his legs to lift. He sat it on its end and heaved again, pushing it over with a crash which stirred a cloud of dust. Dean coughed and dropped once more to his knees, his thigh burning, letting him know that he'd popped a couple stitches. "Sam!"

Sam coughed then, blood leaking from the corner of his mouth. He shifted slightly, rolling onto his side and curling into himself, his eyes pinched tightly closed as he curled his arms around his midsection.

"Sammy, ya need to let me look. How bad are you hurt?"

"Mmnn." Sam moaned as Dean stopped him from wrapping himself up tighter into a fetal position. More blood dribbled from his lips as he coughed again, his eyes opening to slits for a second before they closed again.

"Let me see." Dean barked, giving his voice the commanding tone that Sam always listened to, no matter what. Sam stilled when Dean put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Guh, Dean." Sam said, trying again to curl in on himself as Dean pressed gently on his ribs. He flinched when Dean found bruises but no breaks.

"Where do you hurt Sam?" Dean asked urgently, trying to find where the blood was coming from.

"I bit my lip." Sam replied tiredly. Dean thumbed Sam's lower lip and revealed a cut on the inside about a half inch long and fairly deep. "Think it needs a couple stitches Sammy. You hurt anywhere else?"

"My head. 'M hot." Sam said, his eyes scrunching tight once more. "Dean." Sam whispered, reaching for his brother. Dean pulled his brother's head and shoulders onto his lap, ignoring the burn of his thigh. He held Sam tight to him, relishing the feeling of having his brother close again. Sam sagged into Dean, leaning nearly all of his weight against his big brother as his large hand closed over Dean's forearm. Dean smoothed Sam's hair back from his head, seeing the cut that was causing of all the sticky blood on Sam's face and neck. It had scabbed over already, the blood dry.

"Hey Sammy. Can ya walk? The car's outside."

"It is?"

"Yeah. Ya want a ride?"

"Yeah." Sam said, allowing Dean to stand before pulling him to his feet. Sam leaned into Dean as he looped Sam's arm over his shoulder.

"Easy Sammy. I gotcha. I've always gotcha." Dean soothed as he walked Sam slowly around debris and still smoking piles of burned rubble. The factory was wrecked, machinery broken and burned, the foundation practically crumbling. Dean took a deep breath as he walked Sam out into the night air, seeing his car sitting twenty yards away from the ruined factory. Slow steps forward and Dean gently lowered Sam into the passenger seat, running a gentle hand through his hair to push it back as Sam shifted and relaxed into the familiar leather bench. He sighed as his head tipped back to rest on top of the seat back, his eyes sliding closed. Dean eased the door shut, minimizing the squeaking bang before he headed around the car and slid behind the wheel.

-X-

The black smoke that was Lilith sifted back through the ventilation duct, filtering back into her host through the bloody mouth. She pulled in a ragged breath and sat up, shoving the beam away with a thought. Her chest expanded, bones snapping as the fractures set themselves. Blood seeped back into the body and the wounds closed. Lilith smiled, wiping the residue of blood from her host. She stood and looked down at her body, taking in the tattered clothes and healing wounds. "Damnit." She said, popping her neck as she tipped her head to the side. "I told him I liked this look too."

**Should have more by Tuesday. Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:Okay, so I figured that this story might make some of you wonder where I was going with this war, since I seem to have Lilith winning just a bit. I don't want that. The bitch must die! *laughs like a madwoman* I was going to wait until tomorrow to update but since it's snowing like mad here right now I think I might need the extra time in the morning to get to work. So lucky for you, here's another chapter sooner than I planned. Not so lucky for you is the ending and the fact you're all going to have to wait until Wednesday for another update. *Runs and hides* **

**Again, thanks Mish for the awesome beta, you actually made this story readable.  
**

**Chapter 7**

Sam was sitting next to his brother at the small table in the kitchen of the house, his eyes downcast as Bobby faced the brothers across the Formica expanse. Bobby spoke, reaching his arm out across the table and catching Sam's jaw in a strong, calloused hand. Bobby pulled Sam's head up to face him and caught Sam's blue-green eyes.

"Sam, how many times do I have to tell you, you're not responsible for this?" Bobby said, nodding his head sideways in the direction of what was his left arm.

"Bobby…"

"Boy, I can still kick your ass!" Sam nodded mutely, his mouth twitching as he swallowed hard. Dean reached across the foot and a half of space that separated him from his little brother and gripped the back of his neck. Sam's long hair tickled the back of Dean's hand.

"Bobby, Sam and I were talkin' and we're goin' after the bitch. It's time for payback. We're taking her down."

"Well, hell. You know I'm in."

"Us too." Biggs said from the door, his booming voice loud and clear with its intent. Julie and Nate stood beside him, nodding firmly. Sam and Dean both looked at their comrades and shared nods and smiles.

"Time for the last battle in this war then." Sam said, his gaze darkening as he fed the fire within. He glanced at Dean, grounding himself. Dean looked at his brother and squeezed the back of his neck once more.

**Endgame…present day**

I walk towards the line of demons, watching as they part in the middle to allow her through. It's silent, except for the hot breeze that's blowing and faint rustling of dried leaves, bringing with it the unmistakable smell of war, death, and sulfur. I can feel my hair blowing in the breeze, all but the ends held down by the black bandana. The long locks tickle the back of my neck and the tops of my shoulders. I'm not wearing the heavy shirt that goes with my fatigues. No, my fever is too high. My eyes glitter, sparking with the white lightening as I watch the bane of my existence step through her line of defense. Her blond hair ruffles in the breeze, the crimson highlights looking like blood dripping from the tips.

She walks up to me, fearless. Stupid. She knows I'm lethal, she knows Lucifer is locked inside me. She's the one who unleashed him onto this world, onto my family. Problem with that is that the cage he's in feels like it's made of plastic. He's taking over once more, I can feel myself fading. It's not a pleasant feeling. I hold out a silent hand, stopping my line of troops, my friends, from advancing on the demons, leaving me face to face with Lilith.

"You bring them here to burn? I gave you way more credit for that brain of yours. Guess I overestimated ya, huh, Sammy?"

"You don't get to call me that." I say, my eyes flashing malice.

"You sent me a message; want me to face you in person-or whatever. I'm here. Just what are you gonna do about it?"

"Send you so far down you'll forget which way is up."

"Ooh, you need to come up with some original lines there Sam. Repetition is boring." She says, raising a hand to her mouth in a false yawn. She fists the hand quickly and I dodge the ball of white light she throws at me. The sphere hits a utility pole behind my lines and brings it down, sending the soldiers scattering.

"Bitch." I growl. "I told you to face me. This is our fight."

"Yeah, they're just casualties that add to the excitement." Lilith's eyes flash white and the horde of demons behind her spread out and begin advancing on the lines behind me. All hell breaks loose as demons begin to fight hunters. My eyes flash with the white lightening, the draw of power lighting the blood in my veins on fire. Static begins to coalesce around me and I raise my shield holding the demons at bay as they are knocked away from my family. My friends stop in their fights and Dean motions for them to stay behind my shield. I feel my fever go up another few degrees, the power surging as red flashes contort the shield, making parts of it visible, as if it were heat rising off the pavement.

"You're stretching yourself too thin Sam. Do you really think you can beat me, protecting a bunch of worthless humans? You're destined for greater things than to burn yourself out over a bunch of mangy hunters."

"Shut. Up." I say, launching an arc of white light at her. She pulls one of her own minions in front of her to use as a shield, the demon screaming as the light incinerates it. A bloody corpse falls away as she laughs.

She fires another arching ball of energy at me from her outstretched hand. I feel it burn, ripping into my body. "Gahh." I cry out, back arching and knees threatening to buckle, unable to help myself as cold fire burns through me.

"That's just a taste of your own medicine Sam. See, when you returned my soldier to me, I took a little time, learned your tricks. Gotta say, some of it is pretty impressive. Not enough to win, but still, you get the blue ribbon for effort." She fires again and this time it's directed at my shield. I know now, she wants to take my family from me. It's been her game all this time. Break me; release the hell within once more. She wants _me_ to be the one to decimate the earth and rule beside her. Not. Going. To. Happen.

"STOP!" I say, harnessing the fire ball with my mind, dropping it to the tarmac. I feel the shockwave of energy pass beneath my feet. It's time to stop her, once and for all. I still, feeling the hate build within me once more, that uncontrollable rage that burns with the light of all hellfire. I harness it, hold it close, focus it into the force I need. The force that will wipe her from the face of the earth. My shield wavers and a gruff voice reaches my ears. It's Bobby. Julie's voice joins in and then I hear Biggs' deep rumble underlying it all. Latin drives me as he begins the exorcism to rid the humans of the demons Lilith controls. He's shouting the words, his voice rising further as the howls begin. Lilith smirks as her eyes flash. Her soldiers are writhing; she's on her own with me now. Just the way I want it.

The shield drops as my power turns within me. My eyes burn now with a blinding white lightening. I feel my feet leave the ground as the charge of energy lifts me, my focus turning me into something else. I'm floating, my arms outstretched slightly, hands shaking as my skin starts to glow. Red trails of blood become visible, pounding through veins beneath my translucent skin. My head pounds in tune with my heart, my chest tightening as a roar is ripped from my lips. Lilith gazes up at me, her powers held back by my force. The blood visible beneath my skin boils and turns black, as my inky eyes turn white again. I've lost the ability to see her, but I know my target is right in front of me. I feel it break loose within, the darkness. I wage war with it briefly, the glow fading just slightly. I only manage to tamp it down when another voice reaches my ears. _Dean._

"Sammy!" He cries out, moving to the lines, Bobby's booming voice and the death throes of the demons nearly drowning him out. I turn my head, looking down one last time at my big brother. My brother. I force the darkness down within me as I face him, power focused on Lilith, my heart focused on Dean. My blue/green eyes see my brother, my life. "Sammy." He whispers, tears leaving his eyes, buffeted by the hot wind.

"Dean." I say, the tears streaming from my own eyes vaporizing with the heat of my skin. "I'm sorry." I turn away with finality, full focus back on Lilith as I tip back my head.

A blast of energy like nothing before, rips through me, a sonic boom of raw power roaring across the skies.

"AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Everything goes white as my voice fades to silence.

-X-

_Oh god, what is he doing?_ _ Sammy, no. I know what you're doing. Don't! Little brother, please!_ I feel the energy building. Don't have to be psychic to feel my hairs stand on end, my skin tingles and heat builds with the focal point being my little brother. Bobby's sending the black eyed bastards back to hell and all I see is Sammy. He's changed. I see his feet leave the asphalt, I see the shimmering build up around him, and it's beautiful, white and blinding. Burning my eyes. He's my little brother. Why? Why does he have to make the sacrifice?

"Sammy!" _No, oh god no. Don't, it's not worth it. This fucked up world is so not worth this. I'm not worth this! _ I see him now. I see my _Sammy._ My baby brother looks down at me, blue/green eyes sparkling with tears. They slip free, turning to steam on his cheeks. His face is tranquil, even as the white light continues to build inside him. His veins become visible, the red inside turning black, standing out like an aerial road map etched onto his flesh. "Sammy." I whisper now, unable to do anything else.

"Dean."

On that soft spoken word, I know it's Sammy above me. I know it's my baby brother staring into his destiny. _I love you Sammy._

"I'm sorry." I see his head tip back, I hear the roar. I see the earth rock and a wave of energy rips out across the town. Cars flip over, alarms blaring. Glass explodes from windows and everything turns white. I feel pain briefly as the energy is sucked back into the crater that has formed between the lines, a fireball lying at the bottom. And I feel nothing … nothing … as the flames die out.

**I'm feeling the flames of a bunch of mad reviewers right now. Gives new meaning to the term "roasting slowly" LOL! Sorry people, see ya Wednesday.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Well, here we are at the last chapter of a great experience for me. Not so much for the Winchesters, or some of you. 100 reviews on the nose, I'm so thrilled! Please let me know what you all think about this last chapter and if I somehow missed replying, I am so the last chapter of this one and please Let me know what you think! This has been one of my favorites to write and I hope it hasn't been disappointing.** **Last warning here for language. Julie and Dean get a little...upset.**

**Chapter 8**

"Nnnh." I groan, feeling my head split open with pain first, then the sensation of a bad sunburn settles over my skin. "Oh God." I moan, rolling onto my back and mentally checking for broken bones, forcing my foggy mind to work. Feeling no sharp, stabbing pain or numbness, I push myself up onto my elbows, seeing the still settling dust and smoke moving on the breeze. Memories slam themselves home and I'm instantly standing on shaky legs, looking around at the apocalypse. The town is trashed, cars demolished, some still burning. The pavement is littered with cracks, starting small and getting bigger as they near a crater several yards off to my left.

"Dean?" I hear her now through the loud buzzing. Julie.

"Jules, ya alright?" I see her, her soot smudged face and the torn, bloody shoulder of her fatigues. I run to her feeling the deep ache within me. "Ya okay girl?"

"Think so. My god, what happened?" She sits up, favoring her right arm and looks around. "Biggs and Nate." She says looking off to our right. The two men are lying face down, close together. I can see the blood from here. It's on Nate's back, running down his sides to pool on the pavement, seeping into the cracks. A sliver of what looks to be a utility pole is sticking out of his back. I know he's dead. I see Biggs stir and Julie is soon at his side.

"Dean?" _Bobby. _ I turn to face my old friend and my heart breaks. He's a little worse for wear, his previously pinned sleeve loose and flapping gently in the breeze. He has a trail of blood edging from beneath his dusty, burned ball cap. But it's still seated firmly on his head. "Ya hurt, son?" Bobby says to me as I just stare past him. He shakes me gently, he's talking. I don't really hear him; he's talking about survivors…

"Whoa, wait. Survivors?" I finally say, looking at his dirty, blood smeared face, just working on autopilot, not registering what I'm saying, what I'm thinking.

"A couple of the possessed people survived. Jules, Biggs, us. Lilith is a pile of half scattered ashes by the looks of it."

"Sammy did it." I whisper, everything finally hitting me. I barely feel my knees hit the cracked pavement. I don't hear Bobby calling my name. Moisture burns my gritty eyes and scalds its way down my cheeks, sending the dirt packing to reveal twin clean paths over my stubble. Bobby is on his knees now, with me, beside me. He's tucking me in against his chest, his arm curling around my shoulders, hand in my short hair. He's crying too. I can feel the change in his breath as it hitches. I don't sob, don't even breathe hard. It's all been taken from me. There's nothing left for me to cry for. We might have won this, but the losses…

"It wasn't worth it. None of this." I say, voice soft, just staring over Bobby's shoulder. I see that damn crater. A hole in the earth, in the middle of the two lane road, in the center of Lawrence, Kansas. Home. It's where everything started, where everything was taken from me… twice. Tears finally force my breath to hitch, to match Bobby's and I'm turning my head into the side of his neck. I smell the herbal/gunpowder/grease/sweat scent that has been Bobby for as long as I've known him. He's like a father to me, and now, the old man is my only family. He's all I've got left. I feel my heart disappear with my soul.

"Oh my god!" Julie says, loudly over the ruckus of weeping, screaming survivors. Six out of eleven people, who Lilith's goons possessed, have survived. Three of them are critical, put through too much for their bodies to handle at the hands of the demons. Two will probably need a lifetime therapy and one, one of them is completely, eerily silent and looking vaguely suicidal. Demons. I give them a week and they'll all be dead. That's war. It has casualties, collateral damage. Bobby turns, pulling me with him on the pavement, the cracks scraping harshly over my shredded fatigues, biting into my knees. I look up through bleary eyes to see her standing at the edge of the crater. She's looking down. It's probably fifteen feet deep and twice as wide, but I don't care anymore, haven't looked closely enough. It's just a pile of dust and rubble at the bottom, some sparking wires and broken water pipes still trickling water into the bottom, turning the dust-or ash- my mind screams at me, _Fuck,_ to mud.

"Dean! Oh my freakin' god! Dean!" Julie is screaming now, freaking out. She's crying. _What the hell? _I stand up, pulling the old man with me as I walk closer to her; sure she's lost her mind. War does that to people. I feel like begging for the white jacket and good stuff myself. I can hear her better now. "Fuck, oh god, oh god." She keeps saying.

"Jules? Ya okay?" I walk up to her and take her by the shoulder, careful of her wound. I look down into the rubble filled hole. Something catches my eye. "Fuck!" Before I realize what I'm doin' I'm scrambling down the hole, not caring as it rips at my hands, my legs. The chunks of broken pavement that my feet disturb fall to the bottom and I'm willing them to stop. _Don't you hit him! Don't you fucking hit him!_ I'm on my knees now, sliding the rest of the way. Asphalt bites into my skin and I can't make myself care. _It's him. God, please let it be him._ I brush mud and ash off of –"Sammy"- long brown hair. I ghost him for injuries, finding too many to focus on. Please, I'm begging you … be alive, be alive! "Ah God." I'm half giggling, half sobbing as I reach a muddy hand out to his face. I slide my finger, just one finger, over his cheek, clearing the mud, finally finding what I seek, while I pray that I don't hurt him. I feel my finger hit that tiny mark that makes Sam, Sam. My finger rises up over the mole that rests just to the side of his nose. His face is half buried in mud, bloody, ash covered and still the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on. I feel it then, the tiny puff stirring the short golden hairs on the back of my hand.

"OH GOD! IT'S HIM! HE'S ALIVE!" Tears slide down my smiling face, landing on his muddy cheek and cleaning it. "Sammy. I'm here. Just hang on kiddo."

I hear a commotion over us and then Bobby is leaning over the hole. "I sent Biggs after the rig. We'll see how close we can get an' pull him out. Dean, how bad is he?" I look at my brother again, starting with his face. I rattle off his injuries loud enough for Julie to hear.

"He's got a contusion on his left temple, burns, mostly superficial, on his face. Bobby, toss me a flask!"

"Water or whiskey?"

"Both!" Bobby leans as far over the hole as he can and tosses me the first of two flasks. It is silver, with a devil's trap etched into the side.

"That's the water." Bobby hollers as he tosses me the whiskey flask he pulls from his hip pocket. I pull the cap on the water and tip a bit into my palm, careful not to waste the precious liquid. I carefully wipe mud from Sammy's face, starting with his eyes. They're matted shut with grime and blood. I work on the one not nearly buried in mud until it's reasonably clean. I can see it looks like he's got bad sunburn, maybe a little worse than the reddened skin the rest of us have. I take a deep pull from the whiskey flask.

"He's hot! He's spiking a fever!" I say to those above me, before turning a softer voice back to my brother's ears. "Hang on Sammy."

"What else Dean?" Julie yells down to me.

"He's face down. I'm tryin' to see what I can." I open his eyelid and _thank god_ a blue green ring of iris shows around his blown pupil. It's barely there but still…_please just let it be concussion._ I use a little more water and clear his mouth and face, finding him fevered, his pulse too fast and thready. "I gotta get you the hell outta here."

"Dean? Dean, Biggs is back!" Biggs. Good man. He probably sprinted to the parking garage three blocks over to get the rig. Our "ambulance" is a one ton cargo van that Julie had stolen and outfitted with "commandeered" medical equipment. Julie rushes to the back of the van, tapping on the double doors to signal Biggs that he'd backed as close to the crater as he is able to. I hear the doors open, banging into the sides of the van and I hear her voice speaking to Biggs. Her words aren't loud enough to make any sense to me. Seconds later she's leaning over the hole and as I look up I can see the large med kit she has in her arms. "Dean, Biggs and Bobby are gonna lower the stretcher with the winch. You and I are gonna stabilize Sam and get him the hell outta the hole. Gimme just a second to set things up and I'm coming down."

"Bring a blanket!" I yell up to her.

"Shock?"

"He's burned. His clothing is mostly burned off." I touch Sammy and his clothes turn to bits of tattered, ashy fabric, nearly unrecognizable as the muscle shirt and fatigue pants he was wearing. I see so many injuries disguised by dirt and blood. Cuts, contusions, burns… _Please, Sammy. Just hang on… for me._ "God, kid, ya look like you've been through the hard side of hell." I reach up and tuck a finger under his nose, not breathing myself until I feel the warm puff once more. It's barely there this time.

"Jules, get the hell down here!" I touch Sammy as I see him start to tremble. He's moving beneath the hand I'm fighting to keep gentle. I just wanna scoop him up in my arms and hug the hell outta that kid. He's moving now, his eyes shifting under the closed lids.

"Sammy, shhh. You're hurt pretty bad kid. Just lay still." I feel tremors work through him. Out of the corner of my eye I see more chunks of pavement and debris fall into the hole near us and Julie slides to a stop beside me. "Jules, something's wrong." I say, hearing Sam now. His breathing is off. It's faster, still shallow and rasping now, grinding through his lungs and throat as if he has rocks in his chest. Julie opens the kit that came down with her and yanks a stethoscope out, sticking it in her ears. She puts it to his back and her head whips up.

"Dean, there's fluid in his lungs. You have to get his head outta the mud. He must've aspirated some of it." I tuck my hand under his cheek and use my other to steady his head as I gently lift it just an inch or so off the ground. His breathing becomes worse and now he's choking, bringing something out of his lungs with the deep, rasping cough that shakes his battered body. Black ooze dribbles from his lips and coats my hand where it's on his cheek.

"Damnit! We gotta roll him, he's chokin'." We grab him anywhere we can steady his spine, that we don't see burns or blood. His clothing falls to nothing in our hands as we get him onto his side. Julie grabs the blanket and covers him, as I brace his head and neck. More of the viscous black fluid bubbles from his lips as he continues to choke, unable to draw a breath as the stuff forces itself out of my brother. Julie thumps his back to try and clear his lungs as more of the stuff coats my hand like tar. I feel it on my skin. It burns like acid, freezing cold like melting ice. I hiss as it burns me like frost bite, wiping my hand on my muddy pants.

Seeing him like this, it wrecks me. I've seen him too silent like this before; I'm beginning to think one too many times. Julie has him strapped to the stretcher now. His covered to his chin with the scratchy blanket. He's pale. Still. He looks lifeless as Julie hooks the winch cable to the harness system rigged to the stretcher. We signal Bobby and he turns on the electric winch, pulling my brother out of the crater. I see the stretcher move up slowly, tipping my head back to follow it up. I see the rising sun catching on the dust in Sam's hair. And I scramble up then, up the side of the crater, slipping as the debris rolls under my boots. The med kit bangs off the side of the hole, but I don't give a shit. I need my brother.

-X-

We get into the rig beside the stretcher, not surprised to hear the others talking already of survivors, of the destruction. Biggs volunteers to stay behind and deal with the dead, the survivors and Nate. Bobby looks up and down the ruined street, seeing the smoking hulls of cars, some flipped over, some crushed by the power that nearly leveled the town, before he gets behind the wheel without a word. Even as far as the eye can see it looks like ground zero. I sit on the bench as we pull out, wedging myself in beside Sam. I don't see any of it. I only see my brother, struggling to breathe. I don't feel the debris we run over. I don't feel how the rig shudders as it rides over cracks in the asphalt. All I feel is my little brother's hand in mine. His pulse is hammering, beating three times for every circle my thumb makes over his wrist.

Julie's full attention is focused on Sam, keeping him stable, keeping him alive. My full attention is on Sam, holding his hand as if I can hold him here, in this life, beside me. Bobby slows the rig and looks back at me. "We're here."

"Let's get him inside and to the infirmary. I'll do what I can."

"You'll save him Jules."

"Dean, I'm just a cop with a little bit of glorified training in how to fix booboos. I don't know if I can help him."

"You'll save him." I say, looking up at her with dull green eyes. I can feel my life slipping away with Sammy.

"I'll try." I nod at her, just a small movement of my head, and we're opening the back door of the van. We lower the stretcher to the drive and unfold the legs, wheeling him up to the porch where we drop the legs once more. Bobby helps Julie lift the end near Sam's feet. I take his head, forcing myself to untangle my hand from his. We carry him onto the porch and unfold the legs of the stretcher, wheeling him inside.

Julie stops the stretcher outside the room. I'm staring at Sam, my lungs constricting with every wheezing breath he draws in. She touches my arm. "Dean?"

I jump, looking from my brother's burned, pale face to her worried one. "Huh?"

"I need room to work on him."

"No. Nuh-uh. Not leavin'."

"Dean, I need room. I can't save him if you won't let me work. You can wait right outside. If the slightest thing changes I'll get you. I'll give Sam the best care I can. You just have to trust me."

"I…"

"Dean." Bobby says, his hand coming up to squeeze my shoulder. "Let's get 'im in the room and go get a drink." Bobby's tone leaves no room for argument and I find myself nodding, my eyes shifting back to my brother's face. We wheel him into the room and remove the straps across his body, moving him gently onto the bed he's so recently occupied. Julie goes to work, cleaning wounds, setting up IVs and machinery as she settles an oxygen mask over Sam's nose and mouth. I watch for a minute from just inside the doorway, as the mask fogs with his breath. Bobby grips my arm and pulls me from the room._ You just keep breathin' Sammy. I'm close. Keep breathin' for me._

Bobby leads me into the canteen, my leaden feet barely wanting to move. He circles in front of me and wraps his arm around me, pulling me into a hug. It's still an odd feeling, only one of his arms going around me. He's still Bobby though, the closest thing I've had to a father in years. I'm hugging him back, tears finding their way free from eyes I've clenched so tight, they hurt.

"He'll be alright son." Bobby says, rocking me gently. "I swear, he'll be alright."

Bobby eases me down into the chair nearest the door. I know he does it so I'm close when Julie comes to the door. My fingers fleetingly probe the sore bump at the back of my head, my own pains and aches starting to make themselves known. But I'll survive, always do, unlike so many who didn't, unlike Sammy who … I shake my head, brushing the thought away. Bobby moves slowly to the cupboard, pulling down a bottle of whiskey. He turns and puts it on the table in front of me, returning to the cupboard for two shot glasses, which he still struggles to get securely in his fingers. He brings them to the table and sits them down, capping the bottle with a shaking hand.

I down the freshly poured shot and he pours me another, which slides down before the burn from the first dies to a simmer within me. He downs his own as he sits opposite me. We drink and keep silent company. I hear the old clock ticking on the wall and I'm counting the beats.

-X-

Four hours later Julie comes to the door of the canteen. My head is down on the table, my heart somewhere in the vicinity of my boots. The table under my face is wet, my eyes still burning with a sting that has nothing to do with alcohol. "Dean." She says. Bobby puts his hand on the back of my head and I suck in a breath, sitting up quickly. My empty glass tips over on the table and I'm on my feet, swaying slightly, turning to see her standing there, leaning against the door frame.

"He's finally stable." She says, her hair sticking to her damp face.

I pull her to me, kissing her on the forehead, whiskey fumes mingling with the smell of the coffee flavored candy she is fond of when she's upset. "Thanks Jules." I say as I'm rushing through the door and down the hall.

I walk into the infirmary and see my brother. She's cleaned and bandaged his wounds. He's still on the mask, several IVs in his arm at the crook of his elbow and the back of his hand. His chest is bare, except for the bandages here and there and the cover is pulled loosely to his waist. I move to his side and run a hand through his hair, its softness brings tears to my eyes and I find myself dropping into the chair weakly and taking his hand.

"I cleaned him up. He's responding to the fever reducer. The oxygen is helping. I think the fire affected his lungs a bit but I have no idea how bad. I don't have the equipment here to find that out." She says as she comes up beside me, dropping a soft hand on my shoulder. "I've done what I can. He's holding his own. Needs time to heal."

I nod and look up at her. "Thanks Jules." I say, dropping my eyes, my head falling to rest gently on my little brother's arm. I hear soft footsteps as she walks away. They hesitate at the door. I know she's exchanging a teary eyed look with Bobby. I know he's standing in the doorway. I hear her walk off and his heavy steps follow hers. I hear quiet voices in the hall and I know Biggs has returned from the clean-up. My attention goes back to my brother. I can't cry anymore. I can't feel, won't feel, until his eyes open. Until those blue-green puppy eyes look at me and beg me to be his brother again. Then the answer is _damn straight Sammy. I'm here no matter what. No matter what._

-X-

Julie runs into the infirmary, where I've been at Sammy's side non stop now for four days, except for the occasional coffee and change of clothes. The fatigues have finally been packed away, waiting to probably be burned. He hasn't moved, his breathing hasn't even changed. "Jules?"

"There's a hospital functioning in Wichita. I just got off the radio with the doctors there. I told them about him. They're taking survivors. We can get him there and…"

"No Julie."

"What?!" She asks me, looking at me like I have three heads. "Why the hell not?!"

"I'm not putting him in some hospital. I've got him. He'll wake up and we'll work through whatever he needs."

"Are you delusional?! I don't have the means to give him the care he needs! Do you have any idea what it was that he nearly choked to death on Dean? It was a mix of sulfur, ash and blood! I have no idea how badly he's even injured internally! There's a working hospital not even three hours from here and they do! Now you're saying you'll stay here and take your chances?!"

"NO! I'll stay here and get my brother back!"

She shakes her head.

"I can't do this. Dean, I can't watch you kill yourself because you're too stubborn to take him somewhere he can get help! You're stupid! I told you once that you can't keep doing this, running yourself on empty because you have to be everything for everyone. You won't listen to reason. I can't keep talking to you. You're crazy and you're slowly killing yourself. What is Sam gonna do when he wakes up and you're sick because you _won't back down?_"

"I'll take care of Sammy. There's nothing keeping you here now, Julie."

Julie pulls back her hand and slaps me, her brown eyes blazing. "You really are a sonofabitch! There's nothing keeping me here? You. Are. Insane! I'm still here because I love you! I don't want to lose you. You and Sam are like brothers to me. I'm watching you die, slowly. I can't fuckin' walk away because I'm attached, okay!!" Julie fumes, turning away from me and stalking up to the window in the back wall of the room. "Bobby warned me not to get attached. I didn't listen." She sobs once, tucking the back of her hand against her mouth. "I'm so stupid, I should've listened." She says more to herself than to me.

I push myself up from the chair that I've grown roots in and feel the weakness hit me, my hand going out to steady myself. I guess I've been stupid about not taking better care of myself. She's right, Sammy's gonna need me and I'll be too sick to be the brother he deserves. The one he needs. I steady my shaking body and walk up to her. "Jules." I say, reaching a hand out to her. She flinches away without even looking at me. "Julie." I grip her arm, turning her to face me. I see the tears that have tracked from her dark eyes. I wipe them away with my thumbs and wrap her in my arms. "I'm glad you don't wanna go. I don't think I can help him alone."

She wraps her arms around my middle and lays her head against my chest, tucking her forehead under my chin. "I was never gonna leave. Just take care of yourself. Please, Dean. Sam and I need you." I nod against the top of her head and she squeezes me tighter. She pulls away from me and looks into my tired, gritty eyes. "I'll be right back."

"Okay." I say letting her go and turning back to Sammy. I sit in the chair, feeling my aches flare once more at the uncomfortable pressure of the hard back. It really doesn't matter. I'll sit here forever and wait for him to come back. Julie returns several minutes later, Biggs behind her with a large comfortable upholstered love seat. "Found this in the basement. If we're going to settle in and wait for Sam we're going to be comfortable."

Biggs drags the small couch into the room and places it against the wall nearest Sam's bed. I'm tempted to pull it closer. Five feet away is too far. Julie looks at me, knowing the expression on my face. "No closer Dean. You need rest. You can't stretch out on it if it's tucked up against the bed." I get up from the chair.

"Thanks man."

"Sure thing Dean. Hey, there are a couple positions available on the front of the Lawrence cleanup team. I might head out. See if I can help."

I smile at him in understanding. "Take care of yourself Biggs. You need a hand on anything in the future, just let us know. We're there." I shake his hand and snort when he pulls me in for a bear hug, thumping me on the back.

"Same goes for you and Sam, Dean. Give him my best." The older man turns and hugs Julie before leaving the room.

"Lay down Dean. Get some sleep. You'll hear if Sam needs you, you always do."

I sit down on the couch, sinking into the comfortable cushions. Leaning back, I rest my head on my right hand on the overstuffed arm and prop my feet up on the other end. It's a little short, but it works. I feel my back pop and the aches start to ebb away, leaving me tired. "Come here Jules." I say as I reach out an arm, catching her around the wrist with my hand. I pull her down and fold her into my arms as she tucks her head against my chest. I'm drawing in her comfort as fast as she offers it and soon find my eyes closing. My last sight is my brother, still silent, his eyes still closed.

-X-

Sunset sends rays through the slats in the blinds, casting the room in a red orange glow. Deep, regular breaths remain undisturbed by the light, as they have for the past twenty four hours. The door to the room opens silently and Bobby looks in on the three occupants. Dean is asleep on the couch, his feet propped up, hand under his head, the fingers slightly pinked from the weight of his head. Julie's head is tucked under his chin, her hair in his stubble, being moved by his breath.

Bobby turns his head and looks at the third occupant, movement catching his eye. "Oh." Bobby whispers, his eyes growing big as blue-green eyes meet his. Tears brim in both sets of eyes, as the two face each other silently. Bobby steps into the room, up to the bed. He runs his hand through the younger man's long hair and smiles down at him silently, welcoming him back. Sam's lips turn up beneath the oxygen mask, a dimple appearing in one cheek. His eyes shift, showing Bobby what he wants without words. The older hunter turns and walks the three steps to the couch, putting a hand on Dean's jaw. Green eyes instantly open, looking clearer and more rested than they have in six months.

"Bobby? What?" Dean says, his voice hoarse with sleep, his hand coming up to grip Julie's shoulder as she stirs too. Dean pushes himself up after Julie sits up. Bobby smiles.

"Sammy's awake. He wants ya Dean."

Dean's on his feet and beside the bed. "Sammy!" Dean leans down and touches his forehead to Sam's, running a hand through his hair. "Oh God Sammy. Thank god you're awake."

"De…" Sam says, his voice muffled by the oxygen mask as the transparent plastic fogs with his breath. Julie steps up to the bed and watches the brothers.

"Let's see if we can't do something about that." She leans in as Dean moves back a single step. She removes the mask gently, watching Sam breathing on his own. "Do you hurt at all Sam?"

"Little." He says, his eyes hazy.

"Okay." She settles a nasal cannula over Sam's upper lip. "Better?"

"Yeah." He croaks. Julie pours some water into a glass and puts a straw into it. She eases the straw between Sam's lips and lets him drink. Sam finally pulls away and Julie steps back, a small smile on her face. "Dean?" Sam says in a tired voice. Dean's on the chair now, pulling it so close, his feet are tucked under the edge of the bed.

"Shh, 'm right here Sammy."

"Can't feel…anymore."

"What? What can't you feel?" Dean asks, his eyes searching his brother again for injury. They flick to Julie worriedly when she tenses beside him. Their minds go back to days before, moving him in that pit to keep him from choking on the black demon residue. Could they have somehow damaged something, hurt Sam more than either of them suspected?

"Fire." Sam swallows, pulling in a breath through his nose. "The fire inside me. 's gone." Tears build in his blue-green eyes and Dean watches as they drip from his eyes, coursing down his cheeks to hit the transparent tube and follow its lines to his ears before finally dripping free to be stopped by a thumb on his jaw.

"Hey. Sammy, talk to me."

"'S finally jus' me down deep inside. Finally jus' me." Sam's head falls back against the pillow once more.

"Why you cryin'?" Dean asks softly, the burst of fear subsiding. "Is it because you feel like you can't protect us anymore. Coz, Sammy you don't have to. It was never something you had to do."

Sam remains silent, shifting his watery eyes to the ceiling. Bobby steps up, his gaze on Sam as his eyes narrow knowingly.

"No, it's not." He says, speaking for the first time in several minutes. "It's cos he doesn't have to fight for control. To remember who he is. Sometimes the hardest fight we have is rememberin' who we are." Bobby says, glancing at his left arm, before shifting bright eyes to Sam's face once more. "He's fightin' right now, to remember who he is."

Dean sits on the edge of the bed and shifts to tuck his arms under Sam's shoulders and neck, lifting him gently into a sitting position and pulling him into a hug. "Don't ever have to fight alone Sammy. We're here for ya. Always here for ya."

"Thanks." Sam says, leaning into Dean's embrace and reaching a shaking hand up to grip the back of Dean's soft flannel shirt, catching the belt loops of his black jeans and holding on tight. Julie leans in and kisses Sam on the forehead where it rests near Dean's shoulder. Bobby sits down on the bed, turning so he can reach across his lap and put a firm hand on Sam's leg just below his knee.

Dean just holds his brother in strong arms, a brother who sacrificed everything, nearly sacrificed his life. He just relishes the feeling of having Sammy back, alive and on the road to recovery. He wants to whoop with joy, he wants to cry with relief, instead he just rocks his little brother gently in his embrace. He allows himself the luxury of brushing a soft kiss to the top of Sammy's head, smiling. He feels Sam hug him tighter, knowing that he needs this, needs it to help him heal. The battle was long and hard, but they won, and Dean got the only thing he wanted out of this war. He got his brother back.

"Dean's right Sam. You got family. Always will."

"Thanks old man." Sam whispers affectionately, beginning to shake from exertion and his upset.

"Hey! Don't think I'm too old to take an' turn ya over my knee!" Bobby grins.

"hffft." Dean snorts a laugh, sounding slightly choked, as he ruffles Sam's hair and lays his shaking brother back against the pillows. "Get some rest kid. Then I'll help ya take on the old man." Bobby gently smacks Dean on the back of the head affectionately as Sam smiles wanly. Julie and Dean laugh, the sound precious to Sam, as his eyes drift closed. He feels Dean's hand close around his, Dean's fingers in the curve of his fingers. Sam squeezes and holds on.

"You and me Sammy." Dean says softly, running a hand gently though Sam's hair. "We're gonna hit the road, go see the Grand Canyon. My car, my tunes, and my brother. My life. We're gonna be okay. You'll see."

**A/N: There it is guys, the ending to another story. I'm a little sad to see this one end but they all do. I hope you enjoyed and will let me know. For now though, I have a few promised bits from my other project to extend. So to a few girls out there, look for the ones you wanted to come your way soon. And speaking of Soncnica and our project, she's working on a story in the very near future and then taking on another one with me. I am over the moon! Hit that beautiful little button and let me know you found your happy ending here! Thanks to everyone of you,**

**Kris.  
**


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